Why, Bird, if they would sing of you, Or Sin, or Broken Hearts, or Rue, Or what Young Devils they all are, Or Scarlet Dames, or the First Star, Or South-Sea-Jazz-Hounds sorrowing, It would be quite another thing: But, Bird, here they come mousing round On my suburban, sacred ground, And see my happiness--it's flat, You wretched Bird, they'll sing of that! They'll hymn my Happy Hearth, and later The joys of my Refrigerator, Burst into song about the points Of Babies, Married Peace, Hot Joints, The Jimmy-Pipe I often carol, My Commutation, my Rain-Barrel, And each Uncontroverted Fact With which my poetry is packed ... In short, base Bird, they'll sing like me, _And then, where will my living be?_ _Franklin P. Adams_ (Coldly ignoring the roistering of his friends, addresses the Grackle with bitterness:) TO A GRACKLE (Horace, Ode XVIXXV, p. 23) Bird, if you think I do not care To gaze upon your feathered form Rather than converse with some fair Or make my brow with tennis warm; If you should think I'd liefer far Hear your sweet song than fast be driving Within my costly motor car And in my handsome home arriving, If you should think I would be gone Far sooner than you might expect From off this uncolumnar lawn; Bird, you'd be utterly correct! _Tom Daly_ (Showing the Italian's love of the Beautiful, which he makes his own more than the Anglo-Saxon dreams of doing.) CARLO THE GARDENER De poets dey tinka dey gotta da tree, Dey gotta da arta, da birda--but me, I lova da arta, I lova da flower, (Ah, _bella fioretta_!) I waita da hour: I mowa da grass, I rake uppa da leaf-- I brava young Carlo--Maria! fine t'ief! I waita Till later. Da poets go homa, go finda da sup', I creep by dis tree and I digga her up, (Da Grackla, da blossom, da tree-a I love, _Per Dio!_ and da art!) So I giva da shove, I catcha da birda, I getta da tree, I taka to Rosa my wife, and den she-- She gotta In potta! _Vachel Lindsay_ (Bounding on toward the end of the proceedings with a bundle over his shoulder, and making the rest join in at the high spots.) THE HOBOKEN GRACKLE AND THE HOBO (An Explanation)