A Trip to Scarborough; and, The CriticSheridan, Richard Brinsley
General
A Trip to Scarborough; and, The Critic
Sheridan, Richard Brinsley
Comedy plays; English drama -- 18th century
TOM FASHION.
Why then, my dear, if you’ll call her hither we’ll persuade her
presently.
MISS HOYDEN.
O Lud! I’ll tell you a way how to persuade her to anything.
TOM FASHION.
How’s that?
MISS HOYDEN.
Why tell her she’s a handsome comely woman, and give her half a crown.
TOM FASHION.
Nay, if that will do, she shall have half a score of ’em.
MISS HOYDEN.
O gemini! for half that she’d marry you herself.—I’ll run and call her.
[_Exit._]
TOM FASHION.
So! matters go on swimmingly. This is a rare girl, i’faith. I shall
have a fine time on’t with her at London.
_Enter_ LORY. So, Lory, what’s the matter?
LORY.
Here, sir—an intercepted packet from the enemy; your brother’s
postilion brought it. I knew the livery, pretended to be a servant of
Sir Tunbelly’s, and so got possession of the letter.
TOM FASHION.
[_Looks at the letter_.] Ouns! he tells Sir Tunbelly here that he will
be with him this evening, with a large party to supper.—Egad, I must
marry the girl directly.
LORY.
Oh, zounds, sir, directly to be sure. Here she comes. [_Exit_.]
TOM FASHION.
And the old Jezebel with her.
_Re-enter_ MISS HOYDEN _and_ NURSE. How do you do, good Mrs. Nurse? I
desired your young lady would give me leave to see you, that I might
thank you for your extraordinary care and kind conduct in her
education: pray accept this small acknowledgment for it at present, and
depend upon my further kindness when I shall be that happy thing, her
husband. [_Gives her money._]
NURSE.
[_Aside_.] Gold, by the maakins!—[_Aloud_.] Your honour’s goodness is
too great. Alas! all I can boast of is, I gave her pure and good milk,
and so your honour would have said, an you had seen how the poor thing
thrived, and how it would look up in my face, and crow and laugh, it
would.
MISS HOYDEN.
[_To_ NURSE, _taking her angrily aside_.] Pray, one word with you.
Pr’ythee, nurse, don’t stand ripping up old stories, to make one
ashamed before one’s love. Do you think such a fine proper gentleman as
he is cares for a fiddlecome tale of a child? If you have a mind to
make him have a good opinion of a woman, don’t tell him what one did
then, tell him what one can do now.—[_To_ Tom FASHION.] I hope your
honour will excuse my mis-manners to whisper before you. It was only to
give some orders about the family.
TOM FASHION.
Oh, everything, madam, is to give way to business; besides, good
housewifery is a very commendable quality in a young lady.
MISS HOYDEN.
Pray, sir, are young ladies good housewives at London-town? Do they
darn their own linen?
TOM FASHION.
Oh no, they study how to spend money, not to save.
MISS HOYDEN.
Ecod, I don’t know but that may be better sport, eh, nurse?
TOM FASHION.
Well, you have your choice, when you come there.
MISS HOYDEN.
Shall I? then, by my troth, I’ll get there as fast as I can.—[_To_
NURSE.] His honour desires you’ll be so kind as to let us be married
tomorrow.
NURSE.
Tomorrow, my dear madam?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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