This jeer wounded the young girl, and a deep flush crimsoned her noble,
intellectual brow for a moment; but after a pause she continued,
undaunted: "Such a task would perhaps be too visionary and
comprehensive for the government; but the citizens would come to its
aid in this as well as in benevolent institutions, and from the hearts
of the populace a corps of volunteer amendment officials would arise,
in which our noblest patriots would undoubtedly be associated. But I
have no intention of discussing a subject upon which folios have been
already written, and which you understand better than I. I only wished
to give the motive for my actions; and your recent sneer," she added,
in a slightly defiant tone, "has fully convinced me that you will at
least consider these 'sanguine philanthropic ideas' in the mind of a
fanciful young girl too harmless to put them on official record, so my
examination is doubtless over."
"Not yet," said _Heinrich_, firmly. "Your ideas and language do not
seem to me quite so harmless as you suppose. I cannot help desiring to
obtain more exact information concerning the motives of your acts and
the bearing of your influence. I must and shall find means to do so.
You stand too proudly and firmly before me for me to be able to believe
so implicitly in the purposelessness of your enthusiasm. I am a servant
of the government; as such it is both a duty and a right to ask, 'Who
are you? in what relations do you stand towards the prisoners? what is
your object?'"
"Who I am I shall not tell you; in what relations I stand towards the
prisoners and what influence I exert you can learn from themselves; as
for my object, can you not understand it? I am making myself useful. Do
you think it requires another and more important purpose to act as I
have done?"
"Making yourself useful?" repeated _Heinrich_, thoughtfully. "Do you
really imagine you are of much use here?"
"_How much_ is not for me to measure, I make myself as useful as I can.
If every one only did this the world would be happier. It is not the
success, but the will, that determines the value of an act. Vanity asks
only about the result, honest purpose is satisfied with the doing."
"Indeed!" said _Heinrich_. "Are you so totally free from vanity?"
"Oh, no!" She suddenly burst into a merry laugh, and a ray of bright
healthful enjoyment sparkled in her eyes. "I will not say that. God
forbid that I should surround myself with a false halo. I am as vain as
every other young girl; it is only where the sphere of my earnest labor
is concerned that I am humble and modest, then my own person retires
completely into the background, and I live solely to accomplish my
purpose. But in the outside world, where I am least useful, I am vain,
assuming, and selfish. I have often thought of this contradiction."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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