Betty Mainwaring was sixteen. Her fresh young face was sweet and
silly, charming by the look of modest purity which passed so easily
under the tulle cap and veil for the expression of pious devotion;
but in truth Betty’s very innocence, and the fact that she had passed
her whole life in an atmosphere of the simplest, strictest religion,
had made it impossible for her to concentrate much earnest thought
upon this important step in the Christian life. She had read through
the devotional works prescribed for her as attentively as she could,
and had accepted all the formulas and dogmas of the Church with the
unshrinking faith of the most complete ignorance of their meaning. She
had been taught that confirmation is one of the most serious events of
life, and she believed it and let the fact rest, while her innocent
thoughts wandered to a consideration of the backs of the row of girls
in front of her, and to the reflection how strange it seemed to be
confirmed with one’s own governess.
For the girl beside her, with the passionate dark eyes and set,
serious face, only eighteen herself, and already carrying on her young
shoulders the responsibility of directing the minds of girls of her
own age, was Miss Lane, who taught “advanced” English, French, German,
Italian, music, and singing to the two grown-up Misses Mainwaring,
and the earlier stages of the same to their two younger sisters and
their seven-year-old brother. To her life was a serious hard-working
affair enough, and her tardy confirmation an event of quite desperate
importance, involving much doubt and anxious self-examining. She had
even thought of asking the vicar, her pupils’ father, for a private
interview, of laying bare the bewildered state of her mind, and of
asking him whether he thought her fit for confirmation. The papers on
the subject which he had given her to read had proved but dry bones
to the eager, earnest girl; but she had a strong conviction that
confession would procure little more. The Reverend John Mainwaring’s
religion was not of the hysterical, but of the independent sort; and
the girl felt that all he could do would be to throw her back on prayer
and her own conscience for an answer to her doubts. What was certain
was that he would unhesitatingly have pronounced the conscientious
little worker, striving hard to live up to an ideal standard of
excellence in her dull profession, as fitter for confirmation than
almost any member of his flock.
So she sat by her pupil’s side, with downcast eyes and mind fixed on
the service she was about to hear, curiously conscious at the same
time--being keenly alive to outward things and not without a young
girl’s vanity--of the interest her pretty, modest appearance was
exciting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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