"A woman," he said to himself, "who has been as familiar as Rose has
been, or even much less familiar, ought to be one who has surrendered
herself. Perhaps she might make me wait a few days more, but she would
belong to me, she would let her eyes confess it and her lips would
speak it out. Such a woman would even be disposed to hasten the coming
of the delightful moment, if I had not the wit to prepare it myself.
Rose, being a young girl and having only the dimmest presentiments of
the truth, does not know how to hasten our happiness; otherwise she
most certainly would hasten it. She belongs, then, to me. The question
to be answered is this: shall I go on smelling the rose on the tree, or
shall I pluck it?"
The poetical quality of this metaphor seemed to him perhaps a little
flabby. He began to speak to himself, without actually articulating
the words, even in a whisper, in more precise terms.
"Well, then, if I take her, I shall keep her. I have never thought of
marrying, but it's no good going against the current of one's life. It
may be happiness. Shall I lay up this regret for my old age: happiness
passed dose to me, smiling to my desire, and my eyes remained dull and
my mouth dumb? Happiness? Is it certain? Happiness is always uncertain.
Unhappiness too. And the fusing of these two elements makes a dull
insipid mixture."
This commonplace idea occupied him for a while. Every joy is transient,
and when it has passed one finds oneself numb and neutral once again.
"Neutral, or below neutral? A woman of this temperament? I can still
tame her? Yes, but what will happen ten years hence, when she is
thirty? Ah, well, till then...!"
M. Des Boys carried off Encoignard into his study. Left alone, Rose and
M. Hervart had soon vanished behind the trees and shrubberies, had soon
crossed the stream. They almost ran.
"Here we are at home," said Rose and, very calmly, she offered her lips
to M. Hervart.
"She's positively conjugal already," thought M. Hervart.
Nevertheless, this kiss disturbed his equanimity--the more so since
Rose, in gratitude no doubt to M. Hervart for his defence of her old
garden, kept her mouth a long time pressed to his. She was growing
breathless and her breasts rose under her thin white blouse. M. Hervart
was tempted to touch them. He made bold, and his gesture was received
without indignation. They looked at one another anxious to speak but
finding no words. Their mouths came together once more. M. Hervart
pressed Rose's breast, and a small hand squeezed his other hand. It
was a perilous moment. Realising this, M. Hervart tried to put an end
to the contact. But the little hand squeezed his own more tightly and
in a convulsive movement her knee came into contact with his leg. The
tension was broken. Their hands were loosened, they drew away from one
another, and for the first time after a kiss, Rose shut her eyes.
M. Hervart felt a pain in the back of his neck.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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