HAND. Neither. You are Latherum, the barber, arn't you? I want to talk to you. ALPH. Suppose we take a walk. HAND. No; I'll say what I've got to here. I always deal straightforward. ALPH. (_Aside._) I wonder who he is? HAND. (_Hearing him._) I am Inspector Handsaw, of Scotland Yard; and I am not a man to be kept in the dark. ALPH. Let me light a candle. HAND. You lost a ring in the gardens? ALPH. How did you know? HAND. I was there. And, look here, if you'll help me, it will be a fine thing for you. I'll let you have a share of the reward. ALPH. What reward? HAND. Ah, you're a smart fellow; you don't mean to give yourself away! When they first told me what you were, I didn't expect to find you what you are. But now I see you are what you are, I'm not at all surprised to know you are what you are. ALPH. No, of course not; I fully agree with you. But, for Heaven's sake, what are you talking about? HAND. Why, about the stolen statue from the gardens. ALPH. (_Aside._) I'm a corpse! HAND. What I mean is this: I saw you by the figure just before it was stolen; and you had your eye on the two thieves at the same time I had my eye on 'em. Can't you give a guess where that figure is now? ALPH. Not at all--not at all! HAND. I have an idea it's very near at hand. (_Goes toward screen._) ALPH. (_Pulling him away._) Come away, the cupboard's been varnished. HAND. The only thing I wish I could only put my hand on the thieves as easily as I put my hand on you. (_Business.--Puts his hand on Alphonzo._) _Enter an OLD MAN, R. U. E. (super.). He enters shop._ MAN. A shave, please. (_Sits in chair. Alphonzo don't know what he's doing, goes to shave old man with fender, &c., and any silly business, ad lib._) HAND. Well, I'll see you again. ALPH. Not if I see you first. HAND. (_Whispering._) Help me to get a clue as to where the figure is, and I'll share the reward with you--that's fair enough. (_Going towards door._) You understand? ALPH. (_Aside._) Yes; I wish I didn't. (_Old Man rises, after being shaved. As he rises, a long knocking is heard at screen.--Lightning and gong._) MAN. Mercy, what was that? ALPH. I think we shall have rain. (_Aside, in great excitement._) She's waking up! What am I to do? VENUS. (_Inside._) Alphonzo, release me! ALPH. (_Terrified, but still putting a bold face on the matter._) Good morning, sir; hope you had a nice shave. (_Pushes him headlong out of shop.--Business._) Beg pardon, you nearly slipped! (_Handsaw goes to assist Old Man to rise, and Alphonzo bangs the door to and locks._) Another two minutes like that and I'll get the fever. I wonder if they're gone? (_He looks through keyhole._) Yes, they're going. [_Old Man and Handsaw exit, R. U. E._ I breathe again! _As he says this VENUS appears from behind screen._ It's no use. I can't get her out of the way.