VENUS. (_Shaking her fists at Augustus._) Villain! (_Alphonzo much alarmed._) AUG. There it is again! Oh, I've got 'em bad again! ALPH. Yes; you've got the jim-jams. What, sir--I've cut your chin off? Never mind, sir, don't charge any extra. AUG. Your kindness only exceeds your beauty! You've done it on purpose, because I cut you out with Jane. VENUS. (_To herself, loud enough for Alphonzo to hear._) Ah, he knows where she dwells! I will at once ask him! ALPH. Oh, she'll ruin me! Good morning, sir! Here's your hat, sir. (_Business.--In his hurry to get Augustus out he gives him a basin for his hat; he puts it on; flour falls over him.--Business._) AUG. What the devil---- ALPH. Yes; I think we shall have snow! Good morning, sir. (_Business.--Bowing him to door, and pushes him outside shop._) AUG. Awfully rude, don't you know! [_Goes off, R. U. E._ ALPH. She's ruining my trade! Ah, I see it all! She's got wild--she's disgusted at my shaving people! Hooray! VENUS. Where is that wretched mortal who dared to slay my dove? Bring him forth! Where is he who dares to slay the only thing on earth I love since all are taken from me? Ah, where is Vulcan? ALPH. I don't know! Have you tried the pub opposite! VENUS. Your words are empty. Where are my children--Cupid, Æneas? Where is Mars? ALPH. I'll have a look in the time table. I fancy it's by Greenwich. VENUS. Ah, where is the Cyprian youth Adonis, who was so famed for his beauty? Where is he? Speak! Where is he? ALPH. (_Annoyed._) How the devil do I know? VENUS. Ah, I remember! the beautiful youth, alas--alas! ALPH. (_Aside._) The beautiful youth, alas! She's off her nut! VENUS. Was he not gored to death by a wild boar? ALPH. How do I know? He might have been run over by a steam-roller for all I know! VENUS. Knew you my husband? ALPH. No, I wish I did; I'd send him a wire. VENUS. I am the wife of Vulcan, who was the son of Jupiter and Juno. ALPH. How Juno? VENUS. He was a god of fire, and presided over the workers of metal. His workshop was under Mount Etna, where, assisted by the Cyclops, he forged thunderbolts for Jove. ALPH. (_Admiringly._) Quite a little _Weekly Budget_, ain't she! VENUS. Now I have told you who I am. I must have slept now some thousands and thousands of years. ALPH. Had a tidy doss then? VENUS. But thou hast awakened me, and I am thine for ever. ALPH. (_Aside._) I'll take the first train for America to-morrow. VENUS. But, where is that fearful youth who slew my doves? Bring him forth! ALPH. I can't bring him fourth or fifth. He was not talking about a dove; he was talking about a ballet girl. And now, missus, to come to the point, now you've seen me doing my daily business you've thought better of it, ain't you?