_Shark._ And so he has to Thousands, my Dear; why, Child, I don't believe he has spent thirty Shillings upon himself in Food for these thirty years; all gratis, all upon the Spunge. Ay, ay, let Sir Isaac Skinflint alone for mumping a Dinner. There has not been a Churchwarden's or an Overseer's Feast these twenty years but what he has been at. And when he is not at these Irish meals, he is preying upon his Friends and Acquaintances, and promises them all Legacies. "Well," he says, after he has filled his Paunch,--"I shall not forget you. I shall remember all my Friends. I have you down in my Will." Then he claps his hand upon the Servant's Head as he is going out--"I shall think of you too, John. You are my old Friend"--but the Devil a Louse he gives him; an old gouty Rogue! I'll warrant the old Hypocrite has promised more Legacies than the Bank of England is able to pay. Has he made any mention lately of his Nephew and Niece in the Country, Sir Roger Bumper and his Sister? _Lucy._ He expects them in Town today, or tomorrow at farthest, and I believe he intends to make them joint Heirs with your Master. _Shark._ He may intend it, but shall not accomplish it, take my word; if he does I'll never plot again. You say he has never seen neither the Nephew nor the Niece since they were Children? _Lucy._ Never. _Shark._ Then he shall see them in my proper Person before he sleeps, and if I don't make him disinherit them, say I am a Fool and know nothing of Mankind. _Lucy._ Here your Master comes. _Shark._ He's welcome. (_Enter_ BELLAIR) _Bell._ O Lucy, we are all undone. _Lucy._ Bless us; what's the matter, Sir? _Bell._ I am just come from my Lady Lovewealth's, who, to my great Surprize, has assured me that my Addresses to her Daughter for the future will be highly improper, for that my Uncle had not only refused to make such a Settlement on me as she liked, but had resolved to marry Harriet himself. _Lucy._ Pray Sir, what says the young Lady to all this? _Bell._ She seems to comply with her Mother's avaricious Temper, but has vowed to me privately that should matters be brought to an Extremity, she will never consent. _Lucy._ You, Sir, must act the same part; seem to approve of the Marriage by all means, for the more you oppose, the more violent they will be. Trust the affair to Shark and me, and I'll engage we bring you together in spite of Age and Avarice. I'll give the young Lady a hint or two, which I believe will cure the old Fellow of his Lovefit! Shark, go you and prepare your Disguises; do you act the Nephew and the Niece well and I'll warrant everything else shall thrive. (_Exit Shark_) _Bell._ Dear Girl, the moment my Affairs are brought to bear, you may depend upon the five hundred pounds I promised you.--Is my Uncle up yet? _Lucy._ He has been up this Hour--here he comes; be sure you comply with him, let him say what he will.