A Will and No Will; or, A Bone for the Lawyers. (1746) The New Play Criticiz'd, or the Plague of Envy. (1747)Macklin, Charles
General
A Will and No Will; or, A Bone for the Lawyers. (1746) The New Play Criticiz'd, or the Plague of Envy. (1747)
Macklin, Charles
English drama -- 18th century
_Shar._ Dear Doctor Leatherhead, hold your Tongue; the less you talk,
the more it will be to the purpose, I am sure. Nephew, draw near.
Lucy, take those Candles out of my Eyes, and shut that Door.
_Lucy._ Sir, my Lady Lovewealth has sent her Daughter to wait on you,
and my Lady will be here herself immediately.
_Shar._ Very well, let my wife that was to be come up--and let her
know how Affairs are, Lucy. (_Aside to Lucy_) (_Exit Lucy_)
_Little._ (_At the Table writing_) Um, um, Sir Isaac Skinflint of the
Parish of um--sound sense--um weak in Body--uncertainty of human
Life--um--last Will and Testament--Now Sir, we are ready; I have
finished the Preamble.
_Doct._ But Sir Isaac, should not this Will be made in Private? We
always choose to have as few Witnesses by as possible.
_Shar._ I believe you, Doctor Leatherhead, that they may produce the
more Law Suits. Ay, ay, Doctor, I know the tricks of the Law; the more
Grist, the more Toll for the Miller--but you shall not fill your Bags
out of my Sack, you Harpies, you Cormorants, you Devourers! O you
Bloodsuckers! Auh, auh!
_Doct._ I find Sir Isaac still the same Man.
_Little._ No matter, Doctor; as it is the last Business we shall do
for him, he shall pay swingingly.
_Shar._ I will make my Will simple and plain, and before many
Witnesses.
(_Enter_ HARRIET)
So Harriet, you are come to see the last of the old Man--well I
forgive you your Raillery today--come kiss me, Hussy, or I'll
disinherit you. (_Kisses her_) You had better kiss me as a dying
Uncle, Hussy, than a living Husband, for I shall give you to my
Nephew--and now Gentlemen of the Black Robe, who protect our
properties for us, the first thing you are to do is to fill up the
blank in the Marriage Articles with my Nephew's name instead of mine,
for he I fancy, he will be much properer to manage the young Lady's
Concerns than me. It is over with me; what think you, Harriet? Don't
you think he'll do it better than me, ha? Ah the young Jade, how she
smiles. She knows what I mean, but Gentlemen, before I make my Will, I
have one thing to observe, which is that I am a very whimsical old
Rogue! You all know that, I believe.
_Doct._ Why you are a little whimsical, Sir Isaac, sometimes, I know.
_Shar._ And therefore I desire a Bond may immediately be prepared for
me to give my Nephew, which will put it out of my power to revoke the
Will I shall now make in these Presents; for I am so odd a Fellow,
that it is a hundred to one, I shall want to go from it tomorrow.
_Doct._ I am afraid, Sir Isaac, such a Bond will not be good in Law.
_Little._ O yes, Doctor, very good. Doctor, you will hurt the Practice
with your Scruples; what is it to us whether it be a good Bond or not;
it is a new Case, and will be a Bone of Contention to us. The Gown
will get by it, let who will lose. (_Aside to the Doctor_)
_Doct._ I believe, Sir Isaac, upon second Thoughts it will be a good
Bond.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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