_Chat._ I vow I am over Shoes and Boots with walking home from the Playhouse; there was neither Chair nor Coach to be had for Love or Money; pray will you tell the Chambermaid to leave out some clean things for me in my Lady's dressing Room. _Foot._ I shall, Madam. (_Going_) _Chat._ O one thing more--pray Mr. Thomas, let the Monkey and the Parrot be removed out of my Lady's dressing Room, for I know she won't care to converse with them tonight.--The new Comedy I suppose will engross our Chat for one week at least. _Foot._ A pox on these Monkeys and Parrots and these second hand Quality; they require more Attendance than our Ladies. (_Exit_) _Heart._ Pray Mrs. Chatter, if you were pleased with the Play and the Acting, from whence arises your Distress? _Chat._ From the oddest Accident in the World, Mr. Heartly. You must know, Mr. Canker, that I am a vast Admirer of the Belles Lettres as my Lady calls 'em, and never miss the first Night of a new thing--I am as fond of a new thing as my Lady is and I assure you she often takes my Judgment upon any new Play or Opera, and the Actors and Actresses. For you must know, Mr. Canker, I am thought a very tolerable Judge. _Cank._ Well, but how did the Play succeed? _Chat._ O immensely. _Cank._ Was it hissed? _Chat._ Not once. _Heart._ Was it applauded? _Chat._ To an immensity. _Cank._ Psha! impossible! She knows nothing of the Matter. _Chat._ No to be sure, Mr. Canker, I know nothing of the Matter because I did not like your Play; but I would have you to know, Sir, that my Lady and I know a good Play when we see or read it as well as you for all your Aristotle and your Cook upon Littleton, and all your great Criticks. (_Exit_) _Cank._ Psha! an ignorant Creature, Mr. Heartly, your Servant; I'll go and see for the Ladies. _Heart._ So you have nettled him, Mrs. Chatter. _Chat._ O hang him, he can't abide me upon your Account and Miss Harriet's; a conceited envious Wretch; he will allow nobody to have Judgment but himself. _Heart._ But pray what was your Distress, Mrs. Chatter? _Chat._ Why as soon as I had dropped my Lady, away went I to the Play, and so, Sir, I mobbed it into the Pit--for you must know I admire the Humour of the Savages in the Pit upon these Occasions of all things; so, so, Sir, as I was saying my Lady Ramble's Woman who is the most ignorant Animal in the Creation of the Belles Lettres [and] knows no more of them than a Welch Attorney, well she and I and my Lord Pride's Gentleman went together and we had immense fun, ha, ha, ha; we made the Musick play twenty comical Tunes, and a hundred things besides. I saw all our Ladies in the side Box and we pantomimed all Night long at one another, and were immensely merry, and liked the Play vastly well. There was an infinite [ly] pretty Dance at the End of it--and the sweetest Epilogue--We encored the Dance--but they begged they might speak the Epilogue first, so then we clapt immensely, ha, ha.