Scotland -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"It's most michty," said Jess, turning on her husband, "'at ye should
tak a pleasure in bringin' this hoose to disgrace. Hoo did ye no
tell's suner?"
"I fair forgot," Hendry answered, "but what's a' yer steer?"
Jess looked at me (she often did this) in a way that meant, "What a man
is this I'm tied to!"
"Steer!" she exclaimed. "Is't no time we was makkin' a steer? They'll
be in for their tea ony meenute, an' the room no sae muckle as sweepit.
Ay, an' me lookin' like a sweep; an' Tibbie Mealmaker 'at's sae
partikler genteel seein' you sic a sicht as ye are?"
Jess shook Hendry out of his chair, while Leeby began to sweep with the
one hand, and agitatedly to unbutton her wrapper with the other.
"She didna see me," said Hendry, sitting down forlornly on the table.
"Get aff that table!" cried Jess. "See haud o' the besom," she said to
Leeby.
"For mercy's sake, mother," said Leeby, "gie yer face a dicht, an' put
on a clean mutch."
"I'll open the door if they come afore you're ready," said Hendry, as
Leeby pushed him against the dresser.
"Ye daur to speak aboot openin'the door, an' you sic a mess!" cried
Jess, with pins in her mouth.
"Havers!" retorted Hendry. "A man canna be aye washin' at 'imsel."
Seeing that Hendry was as much in the way as myself, I invited him
upstairs to the attic, whence we heard Jess and Leeby upbraiding each
other shrilly. I was aware that the room was speckless; but for all
that, Leeby was turning it upside down.
"She's aye ta'en like that," Hendry said to me, referring to his wife,
"when she's expectin' company. Ay, it's a peety she canna tak things
cannier."
"Tibbie Mealmaker must be some one of importance?" I asked.
"Ou, she's naething by the ord'nar'; but ye see she was mairit to a
Tilliedrum man no lang syne, an' they're said to hae a michty grand
establishment. Ay, they've a wardrobe spleet new; an' what think ye
Tibbie wears ilka day?"
I shook my head.
"It was Chirsty Miller 'at put it through the toon," Henry continued.
"Chirsty was in Tilliedrum last Teisday or Wednesday, an' Tibbie gae
her a cup o' tea. Ay, weel, Tibbie telt Chirsty 'at she wears hose
ilka day."
"Wears hose?"
"Ay. It's some michty grand kind o' stockin'. I never heard o't in
this toon. Na, there's naebody in Thrums 'at wears hose."
"And who did Tibbie get?" I asked; for in Thrums they say, "Wha did she
get?" and "Wha did he tak?"
"His name's Davit Curly. Ou, a crittur fu' o' maggots, an' nae great
match, for he's juist the Tilliedrum bill-sticker."
At this moment Jess shouted from her chair (she was burnishing the
society teapot as she spoke), "Mind, Hendry McQumpha, 'at upon nae
condition are you to mention the bill-stickin' afore Tibbie!"
"Tibbie," Hendry explained to me, "is a terrible vain tid, an' doesna
think the bill-stickin' genteel. Ay, they say 'at if she meets Davit
in the street wi' his paste-pot an' the brush in his hands she pretends
no to ken 'im."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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