During the next few days Edgar hardly left my bedside. My head and
eyes were still kept tightly bandaged, so that I could neither see
nor speak, nor take solid food. Seeing me in this piteous condition,
Edgar, like the good fellow he was, decided that sermons were out of
season, and that I must be amused. His humour, however, being of a
somewhat slow and cumbrous kind adapted to his size, I took advantage
of my enforced silence to let him joke on unheeded, while my own
thoughts wandered dreamily away to my life of the past few years, and
to the odd, quickly discovered mistake in which it had lately
culminated. I was surprised by the persistency with which Helen's
placid silliness tormented me, fresh instances of it coming every hour
into my mind until I began to ask myself whether the little blue-eyed
lady had really been born into the world with a soul at all. And so,
no longer suffering bodily pain, I lay day after day, very much
absorbed by my own self-questionings, and by strange dreams of a new
Helen, who came to me with the fair face and soft eyes of the old, but
with bright intelligence in her gaze, whispering with her delicate
lips words of love and tenderness.
I woke up suddenly one night, still hot with my sleeping fancy that
this revised edition of my _fiancee_ had been with me. I had seemed to
feel her breath upon my cheek, even to feel the touch of her lips upon
my ear, as she told me my illness had taught her how much she loved
me. I thought I was answering her in passionate words with a great
thrill of joy in my heart, when I woke up and found myself as usual in
darkness and silence.
'Edgar!' I called out; 'Edgar!'
He answered sleepily from a little way off, 'Yes. Do you want
anything?'
'No, thank you.'
A pause.
'I say,' I went on a few moments later, 'nobody has been in the room,
have they?'
'No, no-o-body,' with a yawn. 'At least, I may have dozed, but I don't
think----'
'No, of course not.' But I was horribly wide awake by this time. Some
of the bandages round my head having been removed for the first time
the evening before, I had liberty of speech again, of which I seemed
resolved to make the most. 'I say, Edgar, there's a fire flickering in
the grate, isn't there?'
'Yes, why?'
'Well, if I can see that quite well, why on earth do they still keep
the bandages over my eyes? I know they were afraid of my going blind.
But I haven't; so what's it for?'
'I don't know,' mumbled Edgar, rather blankly. He added hastily, 'I
suppose the doctor knows best; you'd better leave them alone.'
'Oh yes.'
A long silence, during which Edgar, under the impression that it was
part of a sick nurse's duty when the patient showed signs of
restlessness, pottered about the room, and at last fell over
something.
'I say, Edgar,' I began again, 'isn't my face a good deal battered
about on the right side?'
I heard him stop, and there was a little clash of glasses. Then he
spoke, with some constraint.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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