'I am only waiting for my face to heal now, of course. But, I say,
Edgar, it will take a long time for that to get all right. Why, part
of my cheek was completely blown away. It will be months, at least,
before I dare show myself. I think I shall go to some German baths,
and, you know, I don't know how long I may have to stay there. In the
meantime----'
'In the meantime, what?'
'Your sister--Helen--must know that she is free.'
'But supposing she doesn't want to be free? Supposing----'
'Supposing she has a fancy for being tied to a death's-head? No,
Edgar, she must be released at once. I want you to write a letter from
me to her, if you will. The sooner it is over the better for both of
us.'
I suppose Edgar felt that my attitude was not one of pure resignation,
for he made no further effort to dissuade me, but went instantly in
search of pens and paper. He was so very submissive, however, in
taking this step, which I knew to be distasteful to him, that I was
quite sure, before the letter was half written, that he was 'up to'
something. So, when it was finished, I was mean enough to insist on
his leaving it with me, together with the directed envelope; and after
reading it carefully through myself as soon as I was alone, I made
the housekeeper fold it and seal it up in my presence, and directed
her to get it posted at once.
The letter said:
MY DEAREST HELEN--You have no doubt long ago heard the reason
of my silence, and forgiven me for it, I am sure. I am sorry to
tell you that my head [I felt an odd shyness of saying "my
face"] has been injured so seriously that it will be a long
time before I can return to town; I am going straight to
Germany as soon as I am able to leave here, and cannot yet tell
when I shall be in England again. Under these circumstances,
although I know that you would overlook my new imperfections
with the same sweetness with which you have forgiven my older
defects, I feel that I cannot impose again upon your
generosity. I therefore set you free, begging you to do me one
last kindness by not returning to me the little souvenirs that
you have from time to time been good enough to accept from me.
And please don't send me back my letters, if you have ever
received them with any pleasure. Burn them if you like. I will
send back yours if you wish; but, as no woman will ever look
with love upon my face again, your womanly dignity will suffer
but little if you let me still keep them. There are only eight
of them. And there is a glove, of course, and a packet of dried
flowers, of course, and the little silver match-box. All these
I shall insist upon keeping, whether you like it or not. They
could not compromise anybody; the little glove could pass for a
child's. You will trust me with them all, will you not? You see
this isn't the usual broken-off match with its prelude of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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