You must have been for years an object of horror and loathing to your
fellow-men to know what that look, going straight from soul to soul
with no thought of the defects of the bodily envelope, was to me.
Perhaps it was because my life had so long been barren of all
pleasures dependent on my fellow-creatures that I could neither then,
nor later that evening when I was alone, recall any sensation akin to
its effect in sweetness or vividness except the glow I had felt after
Babiole's girlish confidence to me at the door of the Aberdeen
lodging. I suppose I must have stood smiling at the child with
grotesque happiness, for Mrs. Ellmer, turning from contemplation of
the cup and saucer, drew her thin lips together very sourly.
'And now I will leave you to your tea,' said I hastily. 'I told Janet
to put everything ready for you.'
'Thank you, Mr. Maude, you are too good. We require no waiting on, I
assure you,' broke in Mrs. Ellmer, with rather tart civility.
'Oh no, I only told her to put the kettle on in the kitchen,' I
protested humbly. And, with ceremonious hopes that they would be
comfortable, I retreated, Babiole giving my fingers a warm-hearted
squeeze when it came to her turn to shake hands. The child was
following me to let me out when her mother interposed and came with
me to the door herself.
She took my hand and held it while she assured me that she was so much
overpowered by my distinguished kindness and courtesy that I must
excuse her if, in the effort to express her feelings adequately, she
found herself without words. I'm sure I wished she would, for she went
on in the same strain, making convulsive little clutches at my fingers
to emphasise her speech, until both she and I began to shiver. She did
not let me go until Babiole appeared behind her, flushed and smiling,
in the little passage. Then Mrs. Ellmer's fingers sprang up from mine
like an opened latch and, dismissed, I raised my hat and hurried off.
I had not gone half a dozen yards when I met Janet on her way to the
cottage; she curtseyed and told me, in answer to my question, that she
was taking some tea to the ladies. After a moment's hesitation I
turned and followed her, proposing to ask them whether they would like
some books.
Janet opened the door quietly without knocking, and went into the
kitchen on the left, while I stood on the rough fibre mat outside the
sitting-room, having grown suddenly shy about intruding again. I heard
Babiole's clear childish voice.
'Oh, mamma, if only papa doesn't find us out, how happy we shall be
here! Mr. Maude is a good man, I am sure of it!'
'As good as the rest of them, I daresay,' answered her mother in tones
of pure vinegar. 'Understand, if you ever meet him when I'm not with
you, you are not to speak to him. It makes me ill to look at his
hideous wicked face. There's someone in the kitchen, run and see who
it is.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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