They were taking Fabian's body to the little room where he used to
sleep during our yearly meetings. As the slow tramp, tramp up the
stairs began, I opened the door of my study, and entered with the
subdued tread we instinctively affect in the neighbourhood of those
whom no sound will ever disturb again. The lamp was on the table, but
had not yet been turned up. The weak rays of the moon came through the
south window; for the curtains were always left undrawn until I chose
myself to close out the night-landscape. The fire was red and without
flame. I advanced as far as the hearth-rug and stopped with a great
shock. On the ground at my feet, her head resting face downward on the
worn seat of my old leather chair, her hands pressed tightly to her
ears, and her body drawn up as if in great pain, was Babiole; even as
I watched her I saw that a shudder convulsed her from head to foot,
and left her as still as the dead. Every curve of her slight frame,
the rigidity of her arms, the evident discomfort of her cramped
attitude, told me that my poor child was a prey to grief so keen that
the dread of her turning her face to meet mine made a coward of me,
and I took a hasty step backwards, intending to retreat. But the sight
of her had unmanned me; my eyes were dim and I lost command of my
steps. I touched the screen in my clumsy attempt to escape, and To-to,
disturbed from sleep, sprang up rattling his chain and chattering
loudly.
Babiole, with a low startled cry that was scarcely more than a
long-drawn breath, changed her attitude, and her eyes fell upon me. I
stood still, not knowing for the first moment whether it would
frighten her least for me to disappear unseen or let her see that it
was only I. But no sooner had she caught sight of me than she turned
and started up upon her knees with a look on her face so wild, so
unearthly in its exaltation that my heart seemed to stand still, and
my very blood to freeze with the fear that the mind of the little lady
had been unable to stand the shock of her husband's death.
'Babiole, Babiole,' I said hoarsely; and moved out of myself by my
terrible fear, I came back to her and stooped, and would have raised
her in my arms with the tenderness one feels for a helpless child
alone in the world, to try to soothe and comfort her. But before my
hands could touch her a great change had passed over her, a change so
great, so marked, that there was no mistaking its meaning; and
breaking into a flood of passionate tears, while her face melted from
its stony rigidity to infinite love and tenderness, she clasped her
hands and whispered brokenly, feverishly, but with the ardour of an
almost delirious joy--
'Thank God! Thank God! Then it was not you! They told me it was you!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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