I stepped back, startled, speechless, overwhelmed by a rush of
feelings that in my highly-wrought mood threw me into a kind of
frenzy. Drunk with the transformation of my despair into full-fledged
hope, and no longer master of myself, I stretched out a madman's arms
to her, I heard my own voice uttering words wild, incoherent, without
sense or meaning, that seemed to be forced out of my breast in spite
of myself, under pressure of the frantic passion that had burst its
bonds at the first unguarded moment, and spoilt at one blow all my
hard-won record of self-control and self-restraint. She had sprung to
her feet and evaded my touch; but as she stood at a little distance
from me, her face still shone with the same radiance, and she looked,
to my excited fancy, the very spirit of tender, impassioned, exalted
human love, too sweet not to allure, too pure not to command respect.
There was no fear in her expression, only a shade of grave gentle
reproach. As she fixed her solemn eyes upon me I stammered and grew
ashamed, and my arms dropped to my sides as the recollection of the
tragedy which had brought us here came like a pall over my excited
spirits. Then she came round the table on her way towards the door,
and would have gone out without a word, I think, if the abject shame
and self-disgust with which I hung my head and slunk out of her way
had not moved her to pity. I was afraid she would not like to pass me,
savage beast as I had shown myself to be, so I had turned my back to
the door and moved towards my old chair. But Babiole was too
noble-hearted to need any affectations of prudery, and to see her old
friend humiliated was too painful for her to bear.
'Mr. Maude,' she called to me in a low voice, and the very sound of
her voice brought healing to my wounded self-esteem.
I turned slowly, without lifting my eyes, and she held out her little
hand for me to take.
'I am a great rough brute,' I said hoarsely. 'It is very good of you
to forgive me.'
'You are our best friend, now and always,' she said, holding her hand
steadily in mine. She continued with an effort: 'You are not hurt;
then it is----'
She looked at me with eyes full of awe, but she was prepared for my
answer.
'Fabian,' I whispered huskily.
'He is dead?' I scarcely heard the words as her white lips formed
them.
'Yes.'
'God forgive me!' she said brokenly, while her eyes grew dark and soft
with sorrow and shame; then drawing her hand from mine, she crept
with noiseless feet out of the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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