A Woman's Life-Work — Labors and Experiences of Laura S. HavilandHaviland, Laura S. (Laura Smith)
Religion
A Woman's Life-Work — Labors and Experiences of Laura S. Haviland
Haviland, Laura S. (Laura Smith)
Freed persons; Haviland, Laura S. (Laura Smith), 1808-1898; Underground Railroad
I had previously thought I would never again offend my loving Savior,
but would follow him through evil as well as good report. O, how
precious his cleansing blood appeared to me! It seemed as if the drops
that fell in his agony in the Garden of Gethsemane possessed power to
cleanse a world of sin and pollution. Yet I was not faithful in the
little. Although my parents never after forbade my going to a Methodist
or any other meeting, yet I saw it grieved them as I frequently
attended those prayer-meetings, but never to the neglect of our own,
and was often impressed to speak or offer prayer, but did not yield. I
found, to my sorrow, that these omissions produced poverty of soul, and
often cried, "O, my leanness! my leanness!" In secret many tears were
shed over the loss of that joy that had been my experience.
Little by little the candle of the Lord that shone so brightly became
dim, and at the close of one year I sought the society of the gay and
mirthful, more effectually to drown my bitter regrets for having turned
aside from the path so clearly marked out for me. I fully realized that
the dark cloud overshadowing me was the result of disobedience.
In company with a few of my companions, I attended the funeral of an
infant in our town. The service was conducted by a Baptist minister,
who had just come into the place. There was nothing in his remarks that
attracted my special attention. After the meeting closed, and people
were leaving, the minister passed on a little distance, and turned
back, as if something had been forgotten. Pressing through the crowd,
he ascended the porch, and came directly to me, looking earnestly at
me, as he reached his hand for mine, saying:
"I felt as if I could not leave this place without asking this young
woman a few questions. Have you ever experienced religion?"
This came upon me like a clap of thunder, he, being an entire stranger,
asking a question I never had occasion to answer. I hesitated, as I had
never intimated a word of my experience to any human being. My first
thought was to deny, but like a flash came the words of Jesus, "He that
denieth me before men, him will I also deny before my Father and his
holy angels. No; I can not--I will not, though I die. With this thought
I frankly replied:
"I think I have."
"Do you now enjoy it?"
"I do not"
This relieved me from the dilemma of being a disgrace to the cause of
Christ, as a number of my gay companions were with me, also those
Christian young people to whom I had listened with interest in prayer
and exhortations. But searching remarks from him followed. Still
holding my hand, he said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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