A Yellow Aster, Volume 2 (of 3)Caffyn, Mannington, Mrs.
General
A Yellow Aster, Volume 2 (of 3)
Caffyn, Mannington, Mrs.
Fiction
“She shall have nothing to add to her beauty,” he thought, “I shall not
make a beast of myself to desire the least of her when it is the
greatest I want.”
He started up, and asked if he might draw down the blinds.
“Yes,” said Gwen wonderingly, as she saw his big brown hand tremble on
the blind line.
Then a sudden certainty of his intention came upon her with a burst of
angry horror, but she swept this off and waited coolly, with a sort of
sneering excitement.
Strange drew his chair farther forward and sat facing her.
“Miss Waring,” he said, “I have come to ask if you will listen to the
shady side of a man’s life.”
There was no more tremble or hesitation about him now, he looked as cool
as she did.
“It is a side that men as a rule keep to themselves and to their male
companions, no matter how near a man and a woman come to each other,
this impalpable barrier keeps them apart. This has always struck me as a
rather low form of lie and distinctly dishonourable, especially
practised, as it is, by the stronger on the presumably weaker. If a
woman is not strong and pure and magnanimous enough to bear this
knowledge, a man should find it out and go his way before he has dared
to touch her life; if she is strong enough she should be given the
opportunity of gaining this knowledge at first hand, and taking her
subsequent course accordingly. You are immeasurably nobler than any
other woman who has crossed my path.”
Involuntarily he lowered his head as he spoke, in a reverential way that
touched Gwen and forced her to hear him. After the first disgusted shock
her impulse had been to send him about his business. She had half risen
from her seat on the spur of this impulse, but somehow she had sat down
again, and in spite of herself she had let him speak.
“No decent man could deceive you,” he went on, “even if every word he
spoke were to cut his own throat. May I speak to you as man to man?”
He watched the palpitations of her throat—which unfortunately were
beyond her control—with a sort of choking sensation—
“Or more,” he added simply, “as if you were God.”
Gwen’s colour neither increased nor left her, she neither trembled nor
stirred. For a minute she was quite silent except for one quick little
swallowing sound, she was fighting with a concentrated restrained frenzy
of despair against her fate, against the overpowering longing to hear
this man, as he sat there ready to spoil his own life sooner than lie to
her even in a fashion recognized by the use of generations.
She was quite aware she had nothing whatsoever to give him in exchange,
she knew perfectly well she was about to do him a grievous wrong, and
yet her whole being was concentrated into one imperative demand to hear
what he had to say.
“You may speak,” she said in a hard emotionless voice.
Then he told her simply, with neither condonation nor reservation, the
whole truth about his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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