"What have you brought to me during these past years," he demanded,
sternly, "but constant requests for money, and the necessity for
incessant effort to meet new phases of extravagance? You have not
asked what was kind, merciful, and true, but what was the latest
style. Few days pass but that I am reminded of you by a bill for
some frippery or other; but how often am I reminded of you by acts of
filial thoughtfulness, by words of sympathy in my hard battle of life
when I am present, or by genial letters when absent? I have spent
three hot days in the city seeking chiefly your interest, and a more
mechanical, perfunctory thing never existed than your kiss of greeting
to-night. There was as much feeling in it as in the quarter that I
handed to the stage-driver. I have spent thousands on your education,
but you don't sing for me, you don't read to me, you never think of
soothing my overtaxed nerves by cheerful, hopeful talk. Were I a steel
automaton, supplying your wants, I should answer just as well, and in
that case you might remember the laws of matter and apply a little oil
occasionally. What are the motives of your life but dress, admiration,
excitement, a rapid succession of men to pass under your baleful
fascination, and then to pass on crippled in soul for having known
you? Unless you can give Graydon Muir a loving woman's heart, and mean
to cling to him for worse as well as better, you will commit a crime
before God and man if you accept him. With Arnault it is different. In
mind you are near enough of kin to marry. As long as you complied with
fashionable and worldly proprieties, he would be content; but a man
with a heart and soul in his body would perish in the desert of a home
that your selfishness would create."
"It's awful for you to talk to me in this way!" she whined, wincing
and crying under his arraignment.
"It's awful that I have to speak to you in this way, either to make
you realize what deformities your beauty hides, so that you may apply
the remedy, or else, if you will not, to promote your union with a man
content to take for a wife a belle, and not a woman.
"I suppose I am chiefly to blame, though, or you would be different,"
he added, with a dark, introspective look. "I was proud of you as
a beautiful child, and tried to win your love by indulgence. Heaven
knows, I would like to be a different man, but it's all a breathless
hurry after bubbles that vanish when grasped! Well, what do you
propose to do? You see that you can't hesitate much longer."
"I will decide soon," she answered, sullenly. Although her conscience
echoed his words, and she felt their justice, her pride prevailed, and
she permitted him to depart without another word.
CHAPTER XXIV
"I'LL SEE HOW YOU BEHAVE"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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