Catholics -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; France -- Fiction; Sin -- Christianity -- Fiction
‘Why do you not speak to me?’ she asked. ‘You can’t refuse; you will
come with me? Remember that I shall die if you refuse. But no! you
can’t; it is impossible. We lived together once; it was vowed that we
should never separate. Twenty times, at least, did you give yourself to
me. You bade me take you wholly, your limbs, your breath, your very life
itself. I did not dream it all. There is nothing of you that you have
not given to me; not a hair in your head which is not mine. Your hands
are mine. For days and days have I held them clasped in mine. Your face,
your lips, your eyes, your brow, all, all are mine, and I have lavished
my love upon them. Do you hear me, Serge?’
She stood erect before him, full of proud assertion, with outstretched
arms. And, in a louder voice, she repeated:
‘Do you hear me, Serge? You belong to me.’
Then Abbé Mouret slowly rose to his feet. He leant against the altar,
and replied:
‘No. You are mistaken. I belong to God.’
He was full of serenity. His shorn face seemed like that of some stone
saint, whom no impulse of the flesh can disturb. His cassock fell around
him in straight folds like a black winding-sheet, concealing all the
outlines of his body. Albine dropped back at the sight of that sombre
phantom of her former love. She missed his freely flowing beard, his
freely flowing curls. And in the midst of his shorn locks she saw the
pallid circle of his tonsure, which disquieted her as if it had been
some mysterious evil, some malignant sore which had grown there, and
would eat away all memory of the happy days they had spent together. She
could recognise neither his hands, once so warm with caresses, nor his
lissom neck, once so sonorous with laughter; nor his agile feet, which
had carried her into the recesses of the woodlands. Could this, indeed,
be the strong youth with whom she had lived one whole season--the youth
with soft down gleaming on his bare breast, with skin browned by the
sun’s rays, with every limb full of vibrating life? At this present
hour he seemed fleshless; his hair had fallen away from him, and all his
virility had withered within that womanish gown, which left him sexless.
‘Oh! you frighten me,’ she murmured. ‘Did you think then that I was
dead, that you put on mourning? Take off that black thing; put on a
blouse. You can tuck up the sleeves, and we will catch crayfishes again.
Your arms used to be as white as mine.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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