Abe and Mawruss: Being Further Adventures of Potash and Perlmutter — John Shaqi
Abe and Mawruss: Being Further Adventures of Potash and PerlmutterGlass, Montague
General
Abe and Mawruss: Being Further Adventures of Potash and Perlmutter
Glass, Montague
Clothing trade -- New York (State) -- New York -- Fiction; Jews -- New York (State) -- New York -- Fiction
"What could I think, Mawruss?" he replied. "The garment looks all right,
Mawruss, and I ain't kicking, y'understand; but I tell you the honest
truth, Mawruss, the way things is nowadays, Mawruss, a feller could be
Elijah the Prophet already, and he couldn't tell in June what is going
to please the garment buyers in September."
Morris flushed angrily.
"I don't know what comes over you lately, Abe; nothing suits you," he
cried. "I got here a garment which if we would be paying a designer ten
thousand dollars a year yet he couldn't turn us out nothing better, and
yet you are kicking."
"What d'ye mean, kicking?" Abe rejoined. "I ain't kicking. I am only
passing a remark, Mawruss. I am saying I couldn't tell nothing about it,
Mawruss, because so far ahead of time like this, Mawruss, a garment
could look ever so rotten, Mawruss, and it could turn out to be a
record-seller anyhow."
"So, Abe," Morris broke out furiously, "you think the garment looks
rotten! What? Well, all I got to say is this, Abe; if the garment looks
so rotten you should quick hire some one which could design a better
one, because I am sick and tired of your kicking."
"What's the matter, you got pepper up your nose all of a sudden,
Mawruss?" Abe protested. "I ain't saying nothing about the garment is
rotten. I am only saying it gets so nowadays that in June a feller
turns out a style which if we was making masquerade costumes already it
would be freaky anyhow; and yet, Mawruss, it would go big in September.
You get the idee what I am talking about, Mawruss?"
"I get the idee all right," Morris retorted with bitter emphasis. "You
got the nerve to stand there and tell me this here garment is freaky
like a masquerade costume. _Schon gut_, Abe. From now on I wash myself
of the whole thing. I am through, Abe. You should right away advertise
for a designer."
Abe rose wearily to his feet.
"With a touchy proposition like you, Mawruss," he said, "a feller
couldn't open his mouth at all. I ain't saying nothing about you as a
designer, Mawruss. All I am saying, Mawruss, is, a designer could be a
feller which he is so high-grade like Paquin or any of them Frenchers,
but if he gets his idees from fashion papers _oder_ the _Daily Cloak and
Suit Gazette_, Mawruss, then oncet in a while he turns out a sticker."
Morris was stripping the garment from the display form, but he paused to
favour his partner with a glare.
"What would you want me to do, then?" he asked. "Make up styles out from
my own head, Abe? If I wouldn't get my idees from the fashion papers,
Abe, where would I get 'em?"
"Where would you get 'em?" Abe repeated. "Why, where does Hymie Salzman,
designer for Sammet Brothers, and Charles Eisenblum, designer for
Klinger & Klein, get their idees, Mawruss?"
This was purely a rhetorical question, but as Abe paused to heighten the
effect of the peroration, Morris undertook to supply an answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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