"Oh," was the President's reply, "he needn't lose any of his sleep on that account. Just telegraph him to that effect; also, that I don't propose to send him any more men." =HARDTACK BETTER THAN GENERALS= Secretary of War Stanton told the President the following story, which greatly amused the latter, as he was especially fond of a joke at the expense of some high military or civil dignitary. Stanton had little or no sense of humor. When Secretary Stanton was making a trip up the Broad River in North Carolina, in a tugboat, a Federal picket yelled out, "What have you got on board of that tug?" The severe and dignified answer was, "The Secretary of War and Major-General Foster." Instantly the picket roared back, "We've got major-generals enough up here. Why don't you bring us up some hardtack?" =DOUGLAS HELD LINCOLN'S HAT= When Mr. Lincoln delivered his first inaugural he was introduced by his friend, United States Senator E. D. Baker, of Oregon. He carried a cane and a little roll--the manuscript of his inaugural address. There was a moment's pause after the introduction, as he vainly looked for a spot where he might place his high silk hat. Stephen A. Douglas, the political antagonist of his whole public life, the man who had pressed him hardest in the campaign of 1860, was seated just behind him. Douglas stepped forward quickly, and took the hat which Mr. Lincoln held helplessly in his hand. "If I can't be President," Douglas whispered smilingly to Mrs. Brown, a cousin of Mrs. Lincoln and a member of the President's party, "I at least can hold his hat." =HIS PASSES TO RICHMOND NOT HONORED= A man called upon the President and solicited a pass for Richmond. "Well," said the President, "I would be very happy to oblige, if my passes were respected; but the fact is, sir, I have, within the past two years, given passes to two hundred and fifty thousand men to go to Richmond, and not one has got there yet." The applicant quietly and respectfully withdrew on his tiptoes. =LINCOLN AS A DANCER= Lincoln made his first appearance in society when he was first sent to Springfield, Ill., as a member of the State Legislature. It was not an imposing figure which he cut in a ballroom, but still he was occasionally to be found there. Miss Mary Todd, who afterward became his wife, was the magnet which drew the tall, awkward young man from his den. One evening Lincoln approached Miss Todd, and said, in his peculiar idiom: "Miss Todd, I should like to dance with you the worst way." The young woman accepted the inevitable, and hobbled around the room with him. When she returned to her seat, one of her companions asked mischievously: "Well, Mary, did he dance with you the worst way?" "Yes," she answered, "the very worst." =LOVED SOLDIERS' HUMOR=