"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller — John Shaqi
"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller
History
"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
Some gentlemen were once finding fault with the President because
certain generals were not given commands.
"The fact is," replied President Lincoln, "I have got more pegs than I
have holes to put them in."
=FEW, BUT BOISTEROUS=
Lincoln was a very quiet man, and went about his business in a quiet
way, making the least noise possible. He heartily disliked those
boisterous people who were constantly deluging him with advice, and
shouting at the tops of their voices whenever they appeared at the
White House. "These noisy people create a great clamor," said he
one day, in conversation with some personal friends, "and remind
me, by the way, of a good story I heard out in Illinois while I was
practicing, or trying to practice, some law there. I will say, though,
that I practiced more law than I ever got paid for.
"A fellow who lived just out of town, on the bank of a large marsh,
conceived a big idea in the money-making line. He took it to a
prominent merchant, and began to develop his plans and specifications.
'There are at least ten million frogs in that marsh near me, an' I'll
just arrest a couple of carloads of them and hand them over to you.
You can send them to the big cities and make lots of money for both of
us. Frogs' legs are great delicacies in the big towns, an' not very
plentiful. It won't take me more'n two or three days to pick 'em. They
make so much noise my family can't sleep, and by this deal, I'll get
rid of a nuisance and gather in some cash.'
"The merchant agreed to the proposition, promised the fellow he would
pay him well for the two carloads. Two days passed, then three,
and finally two weeks were gone before the fellow showed up again,
carrying a small basket. He looked weary and 'done up,' and he wasn't
talkative a bit. He threw the basket on the counter with the remark,
'There's your frogs.'
"'You haven't two carloads in that basket, have you?' inquired the
merchant.
"'No,' was the reply, 'and there ain't two carloads in this blasted
world.'
"'I thought you said there were at least ten millions of 'em in
that marsh near you, according to the noise they made,' observed the
merchant. 'Your people couldn't sleep because of 'em.'
"'Well,' said the fellow, 'accordin' to the noise they made, there
was, I thought, a hundred million of 'em, but when I had waded and
swum that there marsh day and night for two blessed weeks, I couldn't
harvest but six. There's two or three left yet, an' the marsh is as
noisy as it uster be. We haven't catched up on any of our lost sleep
yet. Now, you can have these here six, an' I won't charge you a cent
fer 'em.'
"You can see by this little yarn," remarked the President, "that these
boisterous people make too much noise in proportion to their numbers."
=THE PRESIDENTIAL "CHIN-FLY"=
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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