"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller — John Shaqi
"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller
History
"Abe" Lincoln's Anecdotes and Stories: A Collection of the Best Stories Told by Lincoln Which Made Him Famous as America's Best Story Teller
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
"'Well, you'll do, Abraham,' replied Mrs. Lincoln critically. So he
kissed her and lifted her down from the seat, and turned to meet Mayor
Wood, courtly and suave, and to have his hand shaken by the other New
York officials."
="FIND OUT FOR YOURSELVES"=
"Several of us lawyers," remarked one of his colleagues, "in the
eastern end of the circuit, annoyed Lincoln once while he was holding
court for Davis by attempting to defend against a note to which there
were many makers. We had no legal, but a good moral defense, but what
we wanted most of all was to stave it off till the next term of court
by one expedient or another.
"We bothered 'the court' about it till late on Saturday, the day of
adjournment. He adjourned for supper with nothing left but this case
to dispose of. After supper he heard our twaddle for nearly an hour,
and then made this odd entry:
"'L. D. Chaddon vs. J. D. Beasley et al., April Term, 1856. Champaign
County Court. Plea in abatement by B. Z. Green, a defendant not
served, filed Saturday at 11 o'clock a.m., April 24, 1856, stricken
from the files by order of court. Demurrer to declaration, if there
ever was one, overruled. Defendants who are served now, at 8 o'clock
p.m., of the last day of the term, ask to plead to the merits, which
is denied by the court on the ground that the offer comes too late,
and therefore, as by nil dicet, judgment is rendered for Pl'ff. Clerk
assess damages. A. Lincoln, Judge pro tem.'
"The lawyer who reads this singular entry will appreciate its
oddity if no one else does. After making it, one of the lawyers, on
recovering from his astonishment, ventured to inquire: 'Well, Lincoln,
how can we get this case up again?'
"Lincoln eyed him quizzically for a moment, and then answered, 'You
have all been so mighty smart about this case, you can find out how to
take it up again yourselves.'"
=COLD MOLASSES WAS SWIFTER=
"Old Pap," as the soldiers called General George H. Thomas, was
aggravatingly slow at a time when the President wanted him to "get a
move on"; in fact, the gallant "Rock of Chickamauga" was evidently
entered in a snail-race.
"Some of my generals are so slow," regretfully remarked Lincoln one
day, "that molasses in the coldest days of winter is a race horse
compared to them.
"They're brave enough, but somehow or other they get fastened in a
fence corner, and can't figure their way out."
="DON'T KILL HIM WITH YOUR FIST"=
Ward Lamon, Marshal of the District of Columbia during Lincoln's time
in Washington, was a powerful man; his strength was phenomenal, and a
blow from his fist was like unto that coming from the business end of
a sledge.
Lamon tells this story, the hero of which is not mentioned by name,
but in all probability his identity can be guessed:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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