In the February of the preceding year Lincoln was visited by a severe
affliction in the death of his beloved son, Willie, to whom he was much
attached, and by the extreme illness of another son, Thomas, familiarly
called "Tad." This was a new burden and a heavy one, but through his
firm faith in Providence he regarded the double visitation as direct
from God, accepting the otherwise inexplicable affliction as a
manifestation of the divine design in regard to himself. A devout
Christian lady from Massachusetts, who was officiating in one of the
hospitals at the time, came to attend the sick children. She reports
that the President watched with her about the bedside of the sick ones,
and that he often walked the room, saying sadly, "This is the hardest
trial of my life,--why is it, why is it?" In the course of conversation
with this nurse, he closely questioned her concerning her situation; she
told him that she was a widow, and that her husband and two children
were in heaven, and added, that she saw the hand of God in it all, and
that she never loved Him so much before as she had since her affliction.
"How is that brought about?" he inquired.
"Simply by trusting in God and feeling that He does all things well,"
she replied.
"Did you submit fully under the first loss?" Lincoln again inquired.
"No!" she answered, "not wholly, but as blow came upon blow, and all
were taken, I could and did submit and was very happy."
"I am glad to hear you say that," said the President, pathetically,
"your experience will help me to bear my affliction."
On the morning of his boy's funeral, when assured that many Christians
were praying for him, the tears welled in his eyes as he faltered out to
his comforter, "I am glad to hear that, I want them to pray for me, I
need their prayers." When the nurse came forward to express her
sympathy, the President thanked her and said, "I will try to go to God
with my sorrows." A few days afterwards she asked him if he could trust
God, and he answered, "I think I can and I will try." Continuing, he
expressed himself more fully, "I wish I had that childlike faith you
speak of and I trust He will give it to me." Then he went on to speak of
his mother who, so many years before, had been laid to rest in the
lonely Indiana clearing; the memory of her who had pillowed his head on
her bosom came back to him with the tenderest recollections. Though, as
has been stated, she had little time or opportunity to teach him the
principles of her own simple faith and reverence, she did not wholly
neglect him. She taught him a few short prayers and pious precepts, and
these he never forgot in the after time. "I remember her prayers," said
he, "and they have followed me; they have clung to me all my life."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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