English fiction -- 20th century; English poetry; Short stories, English
A hedge, swinging sharp right, flanked the garden, and above it on
a slope of daisy-dotted meadows we could see Lord Lundie's tiled and
half-timbered summer farmhouse. Of a sudden we heard voices behind the
tree--the fine full tones of the unembarrassed English, speaking to
their equals--that tore through the hedge like sleet through rafters.
“That it is not called 'monkey-puzzler' for nothing, I willingly
concede”--this was a rich and rolling note--“but on the other hand--”
“I submit, me lud, that the name implies that it might, could, would,
or should be ascended by a monkey, and not that the ascent is a physical
impossibility. I believe one of our South American spider monkeys
wouldn't hesitate... By Jove, it might be worth trying, if--”
This was a crisper voice than the first. A third, higher-pitched, and
full of pleasant affectations, broke in.
“Oh, practical men, there is no ape here. Why do you waste one of God's
own days on unprofitable discussion? Give me a match!”
“I've a good mind to make you demonstrate in your own person. Come on,
Bubbles! We'll make Jimmy climb!”
There was a sound of scuffling, broken by squeaks from Jimmy of the high
voice. I turned back and drew Penfentenyou into the side of the flanking
hedge. I remembered to have read in a society paper that Lord Lundie's
lesser name was “Bubbles.”
“What are they doing?” Penfentenyou said sharply. “Drunk?”
“Just playing! Superabundant vitality of the Race, you know. We'll watch
'em,” I answered. The noise ceased.
“My deliver,” Jimmy gasped. “The ram caught in the thicket, and--I'm the
only one who can talk Neapolitan! Leggo my collar!” He cried aloud in a
foreign tongue, and was answered from the gate.
“It's the Calvinistic organ-grinder,” I whispered. I had already found
a practicable break at the bottom of the hedge. “They're going to try to
make the monkey climb, I believe.”
“Here--let me look!” Penfentenyou flung himself down, and rooted till he
too broke a peep-hole. We lay side by side commanding the entire garden
at ten yards' range.
“You know 'em?” said Penfentenyou, as I made some noise or other.
“By sight only. The big fellow in flannels is Lord Lundie; the
light-built one with the yellow beard painted his picture at the last
Academy: He's a swell R.A., James Loman.”
“And the brown chap with the hands?”
“Tomling, Sir Christopher Tomling, the South American engineer who built
the--”
“San Juan Viaduct. I know,” said Penfentenyou. “We ought to have had him
with us.... Do you think a monkey would climb the tree?”
The organ-grinder at the gate fenced his beast with one arm as
Jimmy talked.
“Don't show off your futile accomplishments,” said Lord Lundie. “Tell
him it's an experiment. Interest him!”
“Shut up, Bubbles. You aren't in court,” Jimmy replied. “This needs
delicacy. Giuseppe says--”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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