Acton's Feud: A Public School StorySwainson, Frederick
History
Acton's Feud: A Public School Story
Swainson, Frederick
Schools -- Juvenile fiction
"We must go one better--eh, you fellows?" said Rogers.
"Rather!" they all shrieked.
"I vote," said young Cherry, "that we lead off with an epilogue. That will
leave 'em standing."
"Hear, hear!" said Fruity.
"Who'll second that?" said Grim.
"I will," said Rogers, cheerfully.
"Then do it, you ass," said the chairman.
"I second," said Rogers, hurriedly, "and you needn't be so beastly strict,
Grim."
"Gentlemen, the proposal before the meeting is that we lead off with an
epilogue. Item number one on the programme to be 'An Epilogue.' Those in
favour signify. Carried unanimously."
"I say, Grim, what is an epilogue, anyhow?" said a voice.
"Oh, I say," said the chairman, "pass that young ignoramus this way. Lamb,
do you mean to say you don't know what an epilogue is?"
"No, I don't."
"This is sickening," said Grim, with disgust. "A fellow in Biffen's not
know what an epilogue is! Tell him, Fruity," he added, with pathetic
vexation.
"He asked you," said Cherry, hurriedly.
"I'm the chairman," said Grim, in a wax, but with great relief. "Explain
away, Fruity!"
"Oh, every first-class concert starts with one," he said vaguely.
"See now, Lamb?"
Lamb professed himself satisfied, but he did not appear absolutely blinded
by the light either.
"Anyhow," said Wilson, "Fruity will see to that. I propose he does."
"I second it," said Lamb, viciously, whereupon Cherry kicked the seconder
on the shins, for he did not exactly thirst for that honour. "I'm an
ass," he said to himself; "but, anyhow, I'll look up what the blessed word
does mean, and try to do it."
"I see," said Grim, "they've got a poem on 'Cock House' for number two.
That seems all right, eh?"
"Oh yes; it's always done."
"Well, we'll have one too, eh? Who's got to do the poetry, though?
Somebody propose somebody"--thereupon every fag proposed his chiefest
enemy, and the battles raged along the line. "And you call yourselves
gentlemen!" said Grim in disgust--he had been overlooked for the time
being.
"I propose Sharpe," said Wilson, dusting himself. "He does no end swell
construes from 'Ovid.'"
"I second that," said Rogers. "He has long hair. Poets always have. Milton
had."
"That bit is _side,_" said the chairman, judicially. "Those who are
in favour of Sharpe doing the poetry hold--Carried, _nem. con._"
"_Nem. con_. is side too, Grim," said Rogers.
"Shut up, you mule! Sharpe, you'll have to do the poem."
"I say, you fellows, it will be horse work," said Sharpe, disconsolately.
"There isn't a rhyme to Biffen's."
"Oh! isn't there? What about 'spiffing'?"
Sharpe choked.
"Griffin."
"Tiffin."
Lamb squeaked out "stiff 'un," and some one gently led him out--even
Biffen's fags caved in at that.
"Sharpe, you're booked for number two, old man. Gentlemen, I direct your
attention to number three--Corker's did Indian clubs and the gold-fish
dodge."
"Oh, well," said Wilson, "we're not going to copy Corker's, anyhow. Let's
do dumb-bells and something else."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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