At the age of thirty-two he broke into the Legislature and began to
wear a White Vest, of the kind affected by the more exclusive Bar
Tenders. Also a variety of Shroud known as the Prince Albert.
He was fearless in discussing any proposed Measure that did not worry
the Farmer Vote in his own District.
As for Wall Street and the Plunder-bund, when he got after them, he was
a raving Bosco. A regular Woof-Woofer and bite their heads off.
About the time he came up for re-election, a lot of Character-Assassins
tried to shell-road him and hand him the Guff and crowd him into the
9-hole. They said he had been flirting with the Corporations and sitting
in on Jack-Pots and smearing himself at the Pie Counter.
Did they secure his Goat by such crude Methods?
Not while the 5-octave Voice and the enveloping Prince Albert and the
snow-white Necktie were in working Trim.
He went over the whole District in an Auto (one of the fruits of his
Frugality), and everywhere that Sylvester went the American Eagle was
sure to go, riding on the Wind-Shield, and a Starry Banner draped over
the Hood.
He waved aside all Charges made against him. To give them serious Heed
would be an Insult to the high Intelligence of the Hired Hands gathered
within Sound of his Voice. He believed in discussing the Paramount
Issues.
So he would discuss them in such a way that the Railway Trains passing
by were no interruption whatsoever.
In course of time his Hair outgrew the Legislature. He was on
whispering terms with a clean majority of all the Partisans in three
connecting Counties, so he bought one Gross of the White String Kind
and a pair of Gum Sneakers and began to run amuck as a Candidate for
Congress.
Even his trusty Henchmen were frightened to know that he had become
obsessed of such a vaulting Ambition.
They did not have him sized, that was all. The farther from home he
traveled, the more resounding was the Hit he registered.
The Days of Spring were lengthening and the Campaign was not far
distant when Sylvester, after looking at the Signs in the Sky and
putting his Ear to the Ground, discovered that he was thoroughly
impregnated with the new Progressive Doctrines.
The change came overnight, but he was in the Band Wagon ahead of the
Driver.
As nearly as he could formulate his private Platform, he was still true
to his Party but likewise very keen for any Reform Measure that 55 per
cent. of the Voters might favor, either at the present time or previous
to any future Election.
After the heated Radicals in every School District had listened to
Sylvester and learned that all his Views coincided to a T with their
own revised Schedule, they lined up and landslided.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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