There is one more bit of advice, in these days, which we might give
to young men. The War seems to make it somehow wrong, that a young
man, of decent character, in good health and steady work, should
remain unmarried. He ought to marry, that sons of his may serve their
country, filling the empty places of the young men who have died for
their country. Before the War, it was nobody’s business but his own,
whether a young man were married or single. We observe him now from
another point of view, with every added month of the War, and every
casualty-list; we say that he is not doing his duty, if he prefers
the comfort and the freedom of bachelor-life to the cares of marriage
and parentage. Let him so live now, in these terrible days, that his
children shall be born healthy, a blessing alike to him and to his
country.
Now, to finish with, let me dot the _i_’s and cross the _t_’s of
this paper. It is likely enough that I have been talking more of
things as they were in my boyhood than of things as they are now. The
Victorian Age was in many ways magnificent; but it neither approved
of inquisitive children, nor enlightened them. For example――one
of my contemporaries tells me that she was taught botany out of a
book called _Lindley’s Ladies’ Botany_. In this book, the fact that
flowers are male and female was carefully left out. She learned this
fact when she was 18; she gathered it from a sermon in church, and it
vexed and offended her. We have got past all that sort of nonsense.
But we are still at sixes and sevens how to tell children about their
bodily nature. We let them alone, they let us alone; we wait, they
wait; neither we nor they like to begin. We do not know what they
are thinking of. But we know this much, that there are two sets of
thoughts which must, simply must, be growing up together in their
minds――the idea of sex, and the idea of God. We cannot help them
without self-preparation; we muddle them, not educate them, on these
two subjects, unless we have made up our own minds how we will answer
their questions.
Further, I do believe that some parents might well make a solemn little
home-ceremony of telling a child about his or her bodily nature; not
leave it to chance, nor to the unclean talk of schoolfellows; no, nor
even leave it to the child’s teachers. Father or mother ought to do it.
And, when the children are grown up, it ought to be done again, with
clear warning against the dangers which they are going into.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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