Adventures in SilenceCollingwood, Herbert W. (Herbert Winslow)
Science
Adventures in Silence
Collingwood, Herbert W. (Herbert Winslow)
Deafness
This herder had built up trouble for me without telling me about it.
The deaf man usually runs blindly into that form of trouble every week
of his life; it is a sort of legacy which others leave at his door.
Down the river some two miles lived a ranchman who had seeded wheat and
made a garden on a low flat where the river curved past a bluff. The
herder had carelessly let the cattle get away from him the previous day,
and before he could stop them several cows had trampled through this
garden with all the exasperating nonchalance that a fat and stupid cow
is capable of showing. When a man has lived for a year or so on “sow
belly,” pancakes and potatoes, and when he is naturally inclined to a
profane disposition of language, he knows precisely what to do to the
responsible party. As I came along the river behind the herd, I saw
this ranchman and his wife advancing to meet me. He opened up at long
range, but as I did not know what it was all about, and, moreover, could
not hear him, I kept on riding right up to meet him. My pony had once
belonged to a mule driver noted for his remarks to mules, and the little
horse actually seemed to recognize a master in this excited individual.
This man’s boy afterwards told me that as he advanced his father was
relating in a dozen ways in which he proposed to punish me. Shooting,
it appeared, was too easy. He would meet me man to man and roll me in
the cactus, etc., and worse! Unfortunately, I did not hear at all until
I got close to him, and then his breath had failed somewhat, so that he
was not doing himself full justice. So I rode right up to him and asked
him the most foolish of questions—so he must have thought:
“_What can I do for you?_”
He looked at me in amazement.
“Are you deaf?”
I told him that I could not hear well.
“Ain’t you heard a word of what I’ve been handing you?”
“Hardly a word!”
“Well, by God, if that don’t beat all! I’ve wasted all them words on a
deaf man!”
There was genuine sorrow in his voice as he spoke of the loss sustained
by society through my failure to hear. All his anger was gone.
“Come,” he said. “Get off your horse. The woman’s got dinner ready. Come
in and eat.”
“But suppose the cows get on your wheat?”
“Darn the wheat. I don’t make a new friend like you every day. Anyway,
the boy can herd ’em.”
He put his boy on my pony and we went into the house, where over
coffee, fried pork, riz biscuits and rhubarb sauce we pledged eternal
friendship. His wife was a very happy woman as she explained matters to
me.
“My man is terrible profane at times. Some men go and get drunk now
and again to relieve their feelings, but my man don’t do that. He just
swears something awful, and when it’s all over he’s all right again.
He was awful to you, but when he found out you didn’t hear him, he
was terrible shocked, and came out of his mad like the man in the
Scriptures. He met his match at last, and I do hope he’ll quit.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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