The builder climbs skywards; the driver prowls about the streets; the
railway mechanic traverses woods, mountains, plains; moves incessantly
from the walls of the town, to the vast blue horizon of the sea. The
_employé_ never quits his bureau, his coffin, and in the same little
mirror, wherein he saw himself a young fellow with fair moustache the
day of his arrival, he contemplates himself bald, and white-bearded, on
the day of his dismissal. Then, all is finished, life is played out,
the future closed. How can he have reached this point? How can he have
grown old without any event having occurred, without having been shaken
by any of the surprises of existence? It is so nevertheless. He must
now make way for the young! for the young beginners!
Then the unfortunate mortal steals away, more wretched than before,
and dies, almost immediately from the sudden snapping of the long and
obstinate habit of his daily routine, the dreary routine of the same
movements, the same actions, the same tasks at the same hours.
As I went into the hotel for breakfast, an alarmingly big packet of
letters and papers was handed to me, and my heart sank as at the
prospect of some misfortune. I have a fear and a hatred of letters;
they are bonds. Those little squares of paper bearing my name, seem to
give out a noise of chains, as I tear them open,--of chains linking me
to living creatures, I have known or know.
Each one inquires, although written by different hands: "Where are you?
What are you doing? Why disappear in this way, without telling us where
you are going? With whom are you hiding?" Another adds: "How can you
expect people to care for you, if you run away in this fashion from
your friends? It is positively wounding to their feelings."
Well then, don't attach yourselves to me! Will no one endeavour to
understand affection, without joining thereto a notion of possession
and of despotism. It would seem as if social ties could not exist
without entailing obligations, susceptibilities, and a certain amount
of subserviency. From the moment one has smiled upon the attentions of
a stranger, this stranger has a hold upon you, is inquisitive about
your movements, and reproaches you with neglecting him. If we get as
far as friendship, then each one imagines himself to have certain
claims; intercourse becomes a duty, and the bonds which unite us seem
to end in slip-knots which draw tighter. This affectionate solicitude,
this suspicious jealousy, eager to control, and to cling, on the part
of beings who have met casually, and who fancy themselves linked
together because they have proved to be mutually agreeable, arises
solely from the harassing fear of solitude, which haunts mankind upon
this earth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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