It's more'n likely you'll insist I claim this 'cause I'm prejudist, Bein' born'd here in ole Vygo In sight o' Terry Hut--; but no, Yer clean dead wrong--! And I maintain They's nary drap in ary vein O' mine but what's as free as air To jest take issue with you there--! 'Cause, boy and man, fer forty year, I've argied ag'inst livin' here, And jawed around and traded lies About our lack o' enterprise, And tuk and turned in and agreed All other towns was in the lead, When-- drat my melts--! They couldn't cut No shine a-tall with Terry Hut! Take even, statesmanship, and wit, And ginerel git-up-and-git, Old Terry Hut is sound clean through--! Turn old Dick Thompson loose, er Dan Vorehees-- and where's they any man Kin even hold a candle to Their eloquence--? And where's as clean A fi-nan-seer as Rile' McKeen-- Er puorer, in his daily walk, In railroad er in racin' stock! And there's 'Gene Debs-- a man 'at stands And jest holds out in his two hands As warm a heart as ever beat Betwixt here and the Jedgement Seat--! All these is reasons why I putt Sich bulk o' faith in Terry Hut. So I've come back, with eyes 'at sees My faults, at last--, to make my peace With this old place, and truthful' swear-- Like Gineral Tom Nelson does--, "They hain't no city anywhere On God's green earth lays over us!" Our city government is grand-- "Ner is they better farmin'-land Sun-kissed--" as Tom goes on and says-- "Er dower'd with sich advantages!" And I've come back, with welcome tread, From journeyin's vain, as I have said, To settle down in ca'm content, And cuss the towns where I have went, And brag on ourn, and boast and strut Around the streets o' Terry Hut! _Leedle Dutch Baby_ Leedle Dutch baby haff come ter town! Jabber und jump till der day gone down-- Jabber und sphlutter und sphlit hees jaws-- Vot a Dutch baby dees Londsmon vas! I dink dose mout' vas leedle too vide Ober he laugh fon dot altso-side! Haff got blenty off deemple und vrown--? Hey! Leedle Dutchman come ter town! Leedle Dutch baby, I dink me proud Ober your fader can schquall dot loud Ven he vas leedle Dutch baby like you Und yoost don't gare, like he alvays do--! Guess ven dey vean him on beer, you bet Dot's der because dot he aind veaned yet--! Vot you said off he dringk you down--? Hey! Leedle Dutchman come ter town! Leedle Dutch baby, yoost schquall avay-- Schquall fon preakfast till gisterday! Better you all time gry und shout Dan shmile me vonce fon der coffin out! Vot I gare off you keek my nose Downside-up mit your heels und toes-- Downside, oder der oopside-down--? Hey! Leedle Dutchman come ter town! _Down On Wriggle Crick_ "Best time to kill a hog's when he's fat." --Old Saw. Mostly folks is law-abidin' Down on Wriggle Crick--, Seein' they's no Squire residin' In our bailywick; No grand juries, no suppeenies, Ner no vested rights to pick Out yer man, jerk up and jail ef He's outragin' Wriggle Crick!