Psychological fiction; Science fiction; Short stories; Teenage boys -- Fiction
The stranger shook his head slowly and dialed another drink. "Anxiety
is the feeling that things are too good, that you're riding for a
fall," he said carefully. "It's a sense of things about to get worse."
Larry remembered the bubble-vendor and nodded. "But they have to be
pretty good to start with, don't they?"
"Right. You've got to have something pretty good--and be worried
that you're going to lose it. Then you fight to keep it.
Challenge--response. That's anxiety. Fear's something different. Then
you creep into the corner and shake. Or you hang onto the side of a
wall."
"I think I'll take another drink," Larry said thoughtfully.
"You get what I mean? Anxiety pushes and prods you, but it doesn't make
you shrivel. You've got to be strong to stand up under it. That's how
our world works."
"So?"
"You haven't experienced any real anxiety yet, boy. Just fear--and
you're reacting out of fear. You can't judge your response to something
if you're really responding to something else."
Larry frowned and gulped his drink. It tasted a little better, this
time, though only imperceptibly so. "You mean I'm deciding too quickly,
then? That I ought to look around the City a little longer?"
"Yes and no," the stranger said. "You're deciding much too
quickly--yes. But looking around the City won't do. No; go back home."
"Home?"
"Home. Go back to your Playground. Look there. Then decide."
Larry nodded slowly. "Sure," he said. "Sure--that's it." He felt the
tension drain out of him. "I think I'll have one more drink before I
go."
* * * * *
The Playground was crowded on the second day of Larry's three-day
period. Small children played happily near the shimmering wading pond,
older ones gathered for games in the playing-field farther on, and, far
in the distance, a group of permanent unworriers sat complacently in
the sun, neither thinking nor moving. Humming robonurses threaded here
and there through the Playground, seeing to it that no one got into any
trouble. They were necessary, of course--because the unworried children
would have no fear of leaping from a tree head-first or walking into
the path of a speeding baseball.
Larry stood at the edge of the Playground, leaning against the
confining fence, watching. His friends were there--the boys he had
played with only two days before, still happily occupied with their
games and their bubble-toys. Walking carefully, in order not to be
seen, he skirted the side of the playing area and headed for the green
fields where the Permanents were.
There were about a hundred of them, of all ages. Larry recognized a
former playmate of his--a boy of about nineteen, now--and there were
older men, too, some well along in middle age. They sat quietly,
unmoving, most of them, smiling pleasantly.
Larry entered the field and walked to the nearest bench.
"Mind if I join you?"
The man on the bench grinned. "Not at all. Sit right down, friend."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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