Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
I walked home with Miss Matilda; but _he did not join us_. Matilda was
now sadly at a loss for amusement, and wofully in want of a companion:
her brothers at school, her sister married and gone, she too young to
be admitted into society; for which, from Rosalie’s example, she was in
some degree beginning to acquire a taste—a taste at least for the
company of certain classes of gentlemen; at this dull time of year—no
hunting going on, no shooting even—for, though she might not join in
that, it was _something_ to see her father or the gamekeeper go out
with the dogs, and to talk with them on their return, about the
different birds they had bagged. Now, also, she was denied the solace
which the companionship of the coachman, grooms, horses, greyhounds,
and pointers might have afforded; for her mother having,
notwithstanding the disadvantages of a country life, so satisfactorily
disposed of her elder daughter, the pride of her heart had begun
seriously to turn her attention to the younger; and, being truly
alarmed at the roughness of her manners, and thinking it high time to
work a reform, had been roused at length to exert her authority, and
prohibited entirely the yards, stables, kennels, and coach-house. Of
course, she was not implicitly obeyed; but, indulgent as she had
hitherto been, when once her spirit was roused, her temper was not so
gentle as she required that of her governesses to be, and her will was
not to be thwarted with impunity. After many a scene of contention
between mother and daughter, many a violent outbreak which I was
ashamed to witness, in which the father’s authority was often called in
to confirm with oaths and threats the mother’s slighted
prohibitions—for even _he_ could see that “Tilly, though she would have
made a fine lad, was not quite what a young lady ought to be”—Matilda
at length found that her easiest plan was to keep clear of the
forbidden regions; unless she could now and then steal a visit without
her watchful mother’s knowledge.
Amid all this, let it not be imagined that I escaped without many a
reprimand, and many an implied reproach, that lost none of its sting
from not being openly worded; but rather wounded the more deeply,
because, from that very reason, it seemed to preclude self-defence.
Frequently, I was told to amuse Miss Matilda with other things, and to
remind her of her mother’s precepts and prohibitions. I did so to the
best of my power: but she would not be amused against her will, and
could not against her taste; and though I went beyond mere reminding,
such gentle remonstrances as I could use were utterly ineffectual.
“_Dear_ Miss Grey! it is the _strangest_ thing. I suppose you can’t
help it, if it’s not in your nature—but I _wonder_ you can’t win the
confidence of that girl, and make your society at _least_ as agreeable
to her as that of Robert or Joseph!”
“They can talk the best about the things in which she is most
interested,” I replied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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