Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Yet Tom was by no means the most unmanageable of my pupils: sometimes,
to my great joy, he would have the sense to see that his wisest policy
was to finish his tasks, and go out and amuse himself till I and his
sisters came to join him; which frequently was not at all, for Mary Ann
seldom followed his example in this particular: she apparently
preferred rolling on the floor to any other amusement: down she would
drop like a leaden weight; and when I, with great difficulty, had
succeeded in rooting her thence, I had still to hold her up with one
arm, while with the other I held the book from which she was to read or
spell her lesson. As the dead weight of the big girl of six became too
heavy for one arm to bear, I transferred it to the other; or, if both
were weary of the burden, I carried her into a corner, and told her she
might come out when she should find the use of her feet, and stand up:
but she generally preferred lying there like a log till dinner or
tea-time, when, as I could not deprive her of her meals, she must be
liberated, and would come crawling out with a grin of triumph on her
round, red face. Often she would stubbornly refuse to pronounce some
particular word in her lesson; and now I regret the lost labour I have
had in striving to conquer her obstinacy. If I had passed it over as a
matter of no consequence, it would have been better for both parties,
than vainly striving to overcome it as I did; but I thought it my
absolute duty to crush this vicious tendency in the bud: and so it was,
if I could have done it; and had my powers been less limited, I might
have enforced obedience; but, as it was, it was a trial of strength
between her and me, in which she generally came off victorious; and
every victory served to encourage and strengthen her for a future
contest. In vain I argued, coaxed, entreated, threatened, scolded; in
vain I kept her in from play, or, if obliged to take her out, refused
to play with her, or to speak kindly or have anything to do with her;
in vain I tried to set before her the advantages of doing as she was
bid, and being loved, and kindly treated in consequence, and the
disadvantages of persisting in her absurd perversity. Sometimes, when
she would ask me to do something for her, I would answer,—“Yes, I will,
Mary Ann, if you will only say that word. Come! you’d better say it at
once, and have no more trouble about it.”
“No.”
“Then, of course, I can do nothing for you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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