Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
“Gracious heavens!—never in all my life—!—get their death as sure as—!
Do you think, my dear, she’s a _proper person_? Take my word for it—”
I heard no more; but that sufficed.
The senior Mrs. Bloomfield had been very attentive and civil to me; and
till now I had thought her a nice, kind-hearted, chatty old body. She
would often come to me and talk in a confidential strain; nodding and
shaking her head, and gesticulating with hands and eyes, as a certain
class of old ladies are wont to do; though I never knew one that
carried the peculiarity to so great an extent. She would even
sympathise with me for the trouble I had with the children, and express
at times, by half sentences, interspersed with nods and knowing winks,
her sense of the injudicious conduct of their mamma in so restricting
my power, and neglecting to support me with her authority. Such a mode
of testifying disapprobation was not much to my taste; and I generally
refused to take it in, or understand anything more than was openly
spoken; at least, I never went farther than an implied acknowledgment
that, if matters were otherwise ordered my task would be a less
difficult one, and I should be better able to guide and instruct my
charge; but now I must be doubly cautious. Hitherto, though I saw the
old lady had her defects (of which one was a proneness to proclaim her
perfections), I had always been wishful to excuse them, and to give her
credit for all the virtues she professed, and even imagine others yet
untold. Kindness, which had been the food of my life through so many
years, had lately been so entirely denied me, that I welcomed with
grateful joy the slightest semblance of it. No wonder, then, that my
heart warmed to the old lady, and always gladdened at her approach and
regretted her departure.
But now, the few words luckily or unluckily heard in passing had wholly
revolutionized my ideas respecting her: now I looked upon her as
hypocritical and insincere, a flatterer, and a spy upon my words and
deeds. Doubtless it would have been my interest still to meet her with
the same cheerful smile and tone of respectful cordiality as before;
but I could not, if I would: my manner altered with my feelings, and
became so cold and shy that she could not fail to notice it. She soon
did notice it, and _her_ manner altered too: the familiar nod was
changed to a stiff bow, the gracious smile gave place to a glare of
Gorgon ferocity; her vivacious loquacity was entirely transferred from
me to “the darling boy and girls,” whom she flattered and indulged more
absurdly than ever their mother had done.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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