Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
It was with a strange feeling of desolation, mingled with a strong
sense of the novelty of my situation, and a joyless kind of curiosity
concerning what was yet unknown, that I awoke the next morning; feeling
like one whirled away by enchantment, and suddenly dropped from the
clouds into a remote and unknown land, widely and completely isolated
from all he had ever seen or known before; or like a thistle-seed borne
on the wind to some strange nook of uncongenial soil, where it must lie
long enough before it can take root and germinate, extracting
nourishment from what appears so alien to its nature: if, indeed, it
ever can. But this gives no proper idea of my feelings at all; and no
one that has not lived such a retired, stationary life as mine, can
possibly imagine what they were: hardly even if he has known what it is
to awake some morning, and find himself in Port Nelson, in New Zealand,
with a world of waters between himself and all that knew him.
I shall not soon forget the peculiar feeling with which I raised my
blind and looked out upon the unknown world: a wide, white wilderness
was all that met my gaze; a waste of
Deserts tossed in snow,
And heavy laden groves.
I descended to the schoolroom with no remarkable eagerness to join my
pupils, though not without some feeling of curiosity respecting what a
further acquaintance would reveal. One thing, among others of more
obvious importance, I determined with myself—I must begin with calling
them Miss and Master. It seemed to me a chilling and unnatural piece of
punctilio between the children of a family and their instructor and
daily companion; especially where the former were in their early
childhood, as at Wellwood House; but even there, my calling the little
Bloomfields by their simple names had been regarded as an offensive
liberty: as their parents had taken care to show me, by carefully
designating them _Master_ and _Miss_ Bloomfield, &c., in speaking to
me. I had been very slow to take the hint, because the whole affair
struck me as so very absurd; but now I determined to be wiser, and
begin at once with as much form and ceremony as any member of the
family would be likely to require: and, indeed, the children being so
much older, there would be less difficulty; though the little words
Miss and Master seemed to have a surprising effect in repressing all
familiar, open-hearted kindness, and extinguishing every gleam of
cordiality that might arise between us.
As I cannot, like Dogberry, find it in my heart to bestow all my
tediousness upon the reader, I will not go on to bore him with a minute
detail of all the discoveries and proceedings of this and the following
day. No doubt he will be amply satisfied with a slight sketch of the
different members of the family, and a general view of the first year
or two of my sojourn among them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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