Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Miss Murray, otherwise Rosalie, was about sixteen when I came, and
decidedly a very pretty girl; and in two years longer, as time more
completely developed her form and added grace to her carriage and
deportment, she became positively beautiful; and that in no common
degree. She was tall and slender, yet not thin; perfectly formed,
exquisitely fair, though not without a brilliant, healthy bloom; her
hair, which she wore in a profusion of long ringlets, was of a very
light brown inclining to yellow; her eyes were pale blue, but so clear
and bright that few would wish them darker; the rest of her features
were small, not quite regular, and not remarkably otherwise: but
altogether you could not hesitate to pronounce her a very lovely girl.
I wish I could say as much for mind and disposition as I can for her
form and face.
Yet think not I have any dreadful disclosures to make: she was lively,
light-hearted, and could be very agreeable, with those who did not
cross her will. Towards me, when I first came, she was cold and
haughty, then insolent and overbearing; but, on a further acquaintance,
she gradually laid aside her airs, and in time became as deeply
attached to me as it was possible for _her_ to be to one of my
character and position: for she seldom lost sight, for above half an
hour at a time, of the fact of my being a hireling and a poor curate’s
daughter. And yet, upon the whole, I believe she respected me more than
she herself was aware of; because I was the only person in the house
who steadily professed good principles, habitually spoke the truth, and
generally endeavoured to make inclination bow to duty; and this I say,
not, of course, in commendation of myself, but to show the unfortunate
state of the family to which my services were, for the present,
devoted. There was no member of it in whom I regretted this sad want of
principle so much as Miss Murray herself; not only because she had
taken a fancy to me, but because there was so much of what was pleasant
and prepossessing in herself, that, in spite of her failings, I really
liked her—when she did not rouse my indignation, or ruffle my temper by
_too_ great a display of her faults. These, however, I would fain
persuade myself were rather the effect of her education than her
disposition: she had never been perfectly taught the distinction
between right and wrong; she had, like her brothers and sisters, been
suffered, from infancy, to tyrannize over nurses, governesses, and
servants; she had not been taught to moderate her desires, to control
her temper or bridle her will, or to sacrifice her own pleasure for the
good of others. Her temper being naturally good, she was never violent
or morose, but from constant indulgence, and habitual scorn of reason,
she was often testy and capricious; her mind had never been cultivated:
her intellect, at best, was somewhat shallow; she possessed
considerable vivacity, some quickness of perception, and some talent
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