Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Miss Matilda Murray was a veritable hoyden, of whom little need be
said. She was about two years and a half younger than her sister; her
features were larger, her complexion much darker. She might possibly
make a handsome woman; but she was far too big-boned and awkward ever
to be called a pretty girl, and at present she cared little about it.
Rosalie knew all her charms, and thought them even greater than they
were, and valued them more highly than she ought to have done, had they
been three times as great; Matilda thought she was well enough, but
cared little about the matter; still less did she care about the
cultivation of her mind, and the acquisition of ornamental
accomplishments. The manner in which she learnt her lessons and
practised her music was calculated to drive any governess to despair.
Short and easy as her tasks were, if done at all, they were slurred
over, at any time and in any way; but generally at the least convenient
times, and in the way least beneficial to herself, and least
satisfactory to me: the short half-hour of practising was horribly
strummed through; she, meantime, unsparingly abusing me, either for
interrupting her with corrections, or for not rectifying her mistakes
before they were made, or something equally unreasonable. Once or
twice, I ventured to remonstrate with her seriously for such irrational
conduct; but on each of those occasions, I received such reprehensive
expostulations from her mother, as convinced me that, if I wished to
keep the situation, I must even let Miss Matilda go on in her own way.
When her lessons were over, however, her ill-humour was generally over
too: while riding her spirited pony, or romping with the dogs or her
brothers and sister, but especially with her dear brother John, she was
as happy as a lark. As an animal, Matilda was all right, full of life,
vigour, and activity; as an intelligent being, she was barbarously
ignorant, indocile, careless and irrational; and, consequently, very
distressing to one who had the task of cultivating her understanding,
reforming her manners, and aiding her to acquire those ornamental
attainments which, unlike her sister, she despised as much as the rest.
Her mother was partly aware of her deficiencies, and gave me many a
lecture as to how I should try to form her tastes, and endeavour to
rouse and cherish her dormant vanity; and, by insinuating, skilful
flattery, to win her attention to the desired objects—which I would not
do; and how I should prepare and smooth the path of learning till she
could glide along it without the least exertion to herself: which I
could not, for nothing can be taught to any purpose without some little
exertion on the part of the learner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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