Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
The useful pony phaeton was sold, together with the stout, well-fed
pony—the old favourite that we had fully determined should end its days
in peace, and never pass from our hands; the little coach-house and
stable were let; the servant boy, and the more efficient (being the
more expensive) of the two maid-servants, were dismissed. Our clothes
were mended, turned, and darned to the utmost verge of decency; our
food, always plain, was now simplified to an unprecedented
degree—except my father’s favourite dishes; our coals and candles were
painfully economized—the pair of candles reduced to one, and that most
sparingly used; the coals carefully husbanded in the half-empty grate:
especially when my father was out on his parish duties, or confined to
bed through illness—then we sat with our feet on the fender, scraping
the perishing embers together from time to time, and occasionally
adding a slight scattering of the dust and fragments of coal, just to
keep them alive. As for our carpets, they in time were worn threadbare,
and patched and darned even to a greater extent than our garments. To
save the expense of a gardener, Mary and I undertook to keep the garden
in order; and all the cooking and household work that could not easily
be managed by one servant-girl, was done by my mother and sister, with
a little occasional help from me: only a little, because, though a
woman in my own estimation, I was still a child in theirs; and my
mother, like most active, managing women, was not gifted with very
active daughters: for this reason—that being so clever and diligent
herself, she was never tempted to trust her affairs to a deputy, but,
on the contrary, was willing to act and think for others as well as for
number one; and whatever was the business in hand, she was apt to think
that no one could do it so well as herself: so that whenever I offered
to assist her, I received such an answer as—“No, love, you cannot
indeed—there’s nothing here you can do. Go and help your sister, or get
her to take a walk with you—tell her she must not sit so much, and stay
so constantly in the house as she does—she may well look thin and
dejected.”
“Mary, mamma says I’m to help you; or get you to take a walk with me;
she says you may well look thin and dejected, if you sit so constantly
in the house.”
“Help me you cannot, Agnes; and I cannot go out with _you_—I have far
too much to do.”
“Then let me help you.”
“You cannot, indeed, dear child. Go and practise your music, or play
with the kitten.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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