Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Governesses -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
“I’ll tell you that, too, at some future period. I happened to be in a
very good humour just then; but, though I was complaisant and gracious
enough, I took care not to compromise myself in any possible way. But,
however, the conceited wretch chose to interpret my amiability of
temper his own way, and at length presumed upon my indulgence so
far—what do you think?—he actually made me an offer!”
“And you—”
“I proudly drew myself up, and with the greatest coolness expressed my
astonishment at such an occurrence, and hoped he had seen nothing in my
conduct to justify his expectations. You should have _seen_ how his
countenance fell! He went perfectly white in the face. I assured him
that I esteemed him and all that, but could not possibly accede to his
proposals; and if I did, papa and mamma could never be brought to give
their consent.”
“‘But if they could,’ said he, ‘would yours be wanting?’
“‘Certainly, Mr. Hatfield,’ I replied, with a cool decision which
quelled all hope at once. Oh, if you had seen how dreadfully mortified
he was—how crushed to the earth by his disappointment! really, I almost
pitied him myself.
“One more desperate attempt, however, he made. After a silence of
considerable duration, during which he struggled to be calm, and I to
be grave—for I felt a strong propensity to laugh—which would have
ruined all—he said, with the ghost of a smile—‘But tell me plainly,
Miss Murray, if I had the wealth of Sir Hugh Meltham, or the prospects
of his eldest son, would you still refuse me? Answer me truly, upon
your honour.’
“‘Certainly,’ said I. ‘That would make no difference whatever.’
“It was a great lie, but he looked so confident in his own attractions
still, that I determined not to leave him one stone upon another. He
looked me full in the face; but I kept my countenance so well that he
could not imagine I was saying anything more than the actual truth.
“‘Then it’s all over, I suppose,’ he said, looking as if he could have
died on the spot with vexation and the intensity of his despair. But he
was angry as well as disappointed. There was he, suffering so
unspeakably, and there was I, the pitiless cause of it all, so utterly
impenetrable to all the artillery of his looks and words, so calmly
cold and proud, he could not but feel some resentment; and with
singular bitterness he began—‘I certainly did not expect this, Miss
Murray. I might say something about your past conduct, and the hopes
you have led me to foster, but I forbear, on condition—’
“‘No conditions, Mr. Hatfield!’ said I, now truly indignant at his
insolence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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