He is out of the room and out of the hotel before his companions can
take exception to his disappearance. For some time he walks along
aimlessly, his mind a jumble of misery, and dull, remorseful anxiety
about Amelia; intolerable comparisons between his own lot and his
friend's; sharp knives of jealousy as often as--which is almost
unintermittently--his imagination wings its cruel way to the Piazza
d'Azeglio--through one opulent week, _his_ Piazza. At this moment--this
moment, while his own leaden feet are treading goalless the hot flags
that for him lead nowhere--Byng is enthroned with _her_ in the heaven of
the mean little _salon_. He unconsciously shows his teeth in a stern
smile to the surprised passers-by. He had jeered Byng for his
hyperboles, and now he is _out-hyperboling_ him. What a detestable verb
he has invented! He laughs out loud. Are they sitting at the window,
looking out at the judas tree and the Paulownia? Not they! The window is
commanded to a certain extent by the roadway. The window is for
acquaintances, banal acquaintances, like himself--no place for the
permitted freedoms of exquisite new love. Are they then on the sofa, the
vulgar walnut sofa, over which Elizabeth has thrown her blue Neapolitan
tablecloth? It is a little sofa, scarcely room for two upon it, but, oh!
plenty of room for them! Or are they at the piano? Is she singing him
some sugared ditty "lovely well" until he breaks into her song with the
storm of his kisses, and her little white hands drop from the keys, and
they lie sobbing with ecstasy in each other's arms? It is quite certain
that Byng will sob. He is always delighted at having an opportunity for
turning on the water-works. Is there a bare possibility that Mrs. Le
Marchant may carry her disapprobation to the pitch of impeding by her
presence their _tête-à-tête_? The idea gives him a momentary
alleviation. Why should not he go and see for himself whether it is so?
It will be a method of passing the tedious interval before he can hear
the doctor's verdict on Amelia. He must at some time or other comply
with Byng's pressing prayer to him to offer his congratulations to
Elizabeth, and he may as well have a day of complete and perfect
pain--pain of various flavours and essences mixed into one consummate
draught--a day of which not one hour shall be without its ache.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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