"I do not see what other course is open to you," replies Jim, answering
only the first part of the young sufferer's appeal, and ignoring the
rhetoric, terribly genuine as is the feeling of which it is the florid
expression. "It is evident that she has some cogent reasons--or at least
that appear cogent to her--for breaking off her relations with you."
"What cogent reasons can she have that she had not yesterday?" says Byng
violently--"yesterday, when she lay in my arms, and her lips spoke their
acquiescence in my worship--if not in words, yet oh, far, far more----"
"Why do you reiterate these assertions?" cries Burgoyne sternly, since
to him there seems a certain indecency in--even in the insanity of
loss--dragging to the eye of day the record of such sacred endearments.
"I neither express nor feel any doubt as to the terms you were on
_yesterday_; what I maintain is that _to-day_--I do not pretend to
explain the why--she has changed her mind; it is not"--with a sarcasm,
which he himself at the very moment of uttering it feels to be cheap and
unworthy--"it is not the first time in the world's history that such a
thing has happened. She has changed her mind."
"I do not believe it," cries Byng, his voice rising almost to a shout in
the energy of his negation; "till her own mouth tell me so I will never
believe it. If I thought for a moment that it was true I should rush to
death to deliver me from the intolerable agony of such a thought. You do
not believe it yourself"--lifting his spoilt sunk eyes in an appeal that
is full of pathos to his friend's harsh face. "Think what condemnation
it implies of her--her whom you always affected to like, who thought so
greatly of you--her whose old friend you were--her whom you knew in her
lovely childhood!"
"You are right," replies Jim, looking down, moved and ashamed; "I do not
believe that she has changed her mind. What I do believe is that
yesterday she let herself go; she gave way for one day, only for one
day, after all, poor soul, to that famine for happiness which, I
suppose"--with a sigh and a shrug--"gnaws us all now and then--gave way
to it even to the pitch of forgetting that--that something in her past
of whose nature I am as ignorant as you are, which seems to cast a
blight over all her life."
He pauses; but as his listener only hangs silently on his utterance he
goes on:
"After you left her, recollection came back to her; and because she
could not trust herself again with you, probably for the very reason
that she cared exceedingly about you"--steeling himself to make the
admission--"she felt that there was nothing for it but to go."
Either the increased kindness of his friend's tone, or the conviction
that there is, at least, something of truth in his explanations, lets
loose again the fountain of Byng's tears, and once more he throws his
head down upon his hands and cries extravagantly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account