She breaks off. To tell him what? Jim bites his lips hard to hinder
himself from putting this question, as he again, in mercy to her, looks
away from her out into the night.
The moon has swum over the housetop by now; but one can see her
handiwork as plainly as ever in the broad argent fringe, like the border
of a cloak, that marks where the waves are breaking on the beach.
One often talks of a fringe without really meaning that there is much
likeness to one; but to-night the moon-washed breakers really do wear
that aspect--a fringe of silver with long silver tags and ends.
"But I was so deceived," she continues, with that wail still in her
voice; "he was not violent. After what you had told me, I expected him
to be violent; but he was not: he was quite gentle and quiet, and he did
beg so hard, and I was so glad to see him again, that I felt I was
giving in--that I should give way altogether if I did not tell him--tell
him at once, without giving myself time to think; and so I did"--growing
very breathless and incoherent--"and in a second; and then all in a
minute, without any warning, just as if I had shot him through the head,
he went down with a crash. I did not see it, for I was not looking at
him. I could not bear to look at him while I told him. I had both hands
over my face, and then--and then--I heard him fall."
What can Jim say to her? Fear lest any dastardly unchivalrous curiosity
may seem to pierce through whatever sympathetic question he might put to
her keeps him dumb, and stupidly staring at the bowing, ironically merry
palm.
"And now," she goes on, lifting her face, and he is shocked to see how
livid it is in the moonlight, "he will go out of the world thinking me
much worse than I really am, for I had not time to tell him all. He
heard only the bare fact; he did not hear what excuse I had--that I was
not really so wicked as--as--he will die thinking me."
The sob with which she ends alarms him by its kinship to a convulsion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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