"It is dreadful that I should have to say these things to you," says
Mrs. Byng, in a voice of the strongest revolt and ire against her
destiny--"insult you in this unprovoked way; but, in point of fact, you
are the only person in the world who can convince him that--that--it is
impossible--that it cannot be. Of course he will be very urgent and
pressing, and I know how persuasive he is. Do not you suppose that I,
his own mother, know how hard it is to refuse him anything? and of
course, in his present weak state, it must be very carefully done. He
could not stand any violent contradiction. You would have to be very
gentle; dear me!"--with a fresh access of angry remorse--"as if you ever
could be anything else."
This compliment also its pale object receives in silence.
"You know one has always heard that there are two kinds of 'No,'" goes
on Mrs. Byng with another dwarfish laugh, which has a touch of the
hysteric in it--"a woman's 'No,' as it is called, that means 'Yes'; and
a 'No' which anyone--which even _he_--must understand to be final. If
you _could_--I dare say I am asking you an impossibility--but if you
_could_ make him understand that this time it is final!"
There is a silence between them. An unrulier billow than usual, yet more
masterless in its Titan play, is hurling itself with a colossal thud and
bang against the causeway; and Elizabeth waits till its clamour is
subsided before she speaks.
"Yes," she answers slowly, "I understand; thank you for telling me what
you wish. I think I may promise that I shall be able to--that I shall
make him understand that it is final."
A moment or two later they are on their way back to the Amirauté. The
ocean is at its glorious pastimes all around them; the hill-climbing,
shining town smiles upon them from its slope; but upon both has fallen a
blindness. The feelings of Mrs. Byng are perhaps the least enviable of
the two.
They are nearly back at the beginning of the breakwater, when she stops
short. Probably when cool reflection comes, when she is removed from the
charm and pathos of Elizabeth's meek white presence, lovely and
unreproachful, she will not repent her work; but at the present moment
of impulse and remorse she feels as if the expunging of the last
half-hour would be cheaply purchased by the sacrifice of six months of
her remaining life.
"I suppose it is not the least use my asking you to try and forgive
me--to make allowances for me?" she says, with unsteady-toned humility;
"oh, _how_ you must hate me! If the case were reversed, _how_ I should
hate you! How you will hate me all your life!"
The tears are rolling down her cheeks, and in an instant Elizabeth's
hand has gone out to her. As it does so, the grotesque regret flashes
across the elder woman's mind that any future daughter-in-law of hers
will be most unlikely to be the possessor of such a hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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