"Fair enough!" I tells him, "but you're goin' at the thing backwards.
How are you gonna take an order for autos when you ain't got no autos
to sell? I suppose you figure on grabbin' the ten thousand dollar job
first and then makin' good with a loud crash by landin' the big order,
eh?"
He shakes his head and sighs pityin'ly.
"Would there be anything new and original about that?" he asks.
"No!" I says, "there wouldn't! But I don't see how you're gonna win
out any other way."
"Of course you don't!" he sneers. "You're a New Yorker, ain't you?
I'm supposed to be the rube, simply because I wasn't born on Sixth
Avenue. Now I already told you my methods was new, didn't I? Anybody
would work the thing the way you lay it out--and probably land neither
the job nor the order. What a chance would I have goin' up there and
askin' for that job first? Where would I come out against all them
sellin' experts with letters and so forth to prove it? Why, they'd
laugh me outa the office! _B-u-t!--if I go to them with an order for
fifty or sixty of their cars as actual proof that I can sell not only
autos, but their autos_, what will they say, then? D'ye see the point
now? They ask me for a reference and I reach in my pocket and give
them the order, _which I've got before applyin' for the job_, to prove
to myself and them that I can sell automobiles!"
Oh, boy!
"Alex," I says, when I got my breath, "I gotta hand it to you! When it
comes to inventin' things, you got Edison lookin' like a backward
pupil. Go to it, old kid! If you put this over the way you have just
told it to me, you'll own Broadway in a week!"
"I'm figurin' on ten days!" he says.
We arrive at the Mastadon Department Store and shoot up in the elevator
to the office of G. C. Munson, the general manager. Alex has been
readin' the notes he made on Gaflooey delivery wagons like the same was
a French novel, and, by the time we got there, he could repeat their
advertisement by heart. He starts to breeze right into the office and
some dame appears on the scene and nails him.
"One moment, please!" she says, very cold--givin' Alex a look that took
in everything from his hick clothes to his rube haircut. "This happens
to be a private office. Whom did you desire to see?"
"If I thought they was anybody prettier than you here, I'd ask to have
them brought out," says Alex, in that simple rube way of his which give
no offense, "but of course I know that's impossible. Still, as long as
I'm here, I'd like to see Mister Munson."
The dame melts and releases a smile.
"What did you wish to see him about?" she asks.
"About ten minutes," pipes Alex. "D'ye know there's somethin' about
them navy blue eyes of yours that makes me think of my mother--isn't
that funny?"
The dame surrenders and shows Alex all her nice front teeth.
"I'll see if Mister Munson is in," she says, handin' him a card, "but
you'll have to fill this out."
Alex looks at the card which had this on it,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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