For the next five seconds it was so quiet in that flat that a graveyard
would seem like a locomotive works alongside of it. Joe Leity starts
to whistle soft and low, Abe Katz opens the dumbwaiter and looks down
to see what kind of a jump it is and I dropped a hundred aces on the
floor. The rest of the gang eases over to the door.
"Why--ah--eh--ah, what does this mean?" I says kinda weak. "I thought
you had went to Lakewood."
"Well," she says, turnin' the eyes, that used to fill the Winter Garden
every night, on the gang, "where d'ye figure I am now? I'll give you
three guesses!"
"Ahem!" says Joe Leity, "I guess I'll blow! I--"
"Me, too!" pipes the gang like a chorus and does a few more vamps to
the door.
"Why don't you introduce your friends?" says the wife. "Or maybe you
just run across these boys yourself when you come in, heh?"
"Excuse!" I says. "This here's Joe Leity, Abe Katz, Phil Young, Red
Dailey, Steve--"
"Never mind callin' the roll," she butts in. "I'll let it go en masse.
I'm delighted to meet you all, and I hope you won't run away simply
because I'm here."
"Oh, no--not at all--we ain't runnin' away!" they says.
"There's no reason for you boys _runnin'_ anyways," the wife goes on,
"because the elevator is right outside now and I think the boy is
holdin' the car for you--"
They blowed!
"And now," says the wife to me, "what d'ye mean by bringin' them
plumbers up here for a union meetin', eh?"
"Don't be always knockin'!" I answers, gettin' peeved. "Them boys is
all honest and true, even if they do look a little rough to the naked
eye. But how is it you come back to-day when you wasn't due for a
month?"
"You're tickled to death to see me, ain't you?" she asks, pullin' the
pout that formerly helped sell the magazines.
To be level with you, I was--mad and all.
"Why, dearie!" I remarks, kissin' her. "You know I--"
"Easy with the oil!" she cuts me off. "Get on your hat and coat; we're
goin' right down to Grand Central Station."
"Don't you think it's liable to tire you, honey," I asks her, "runnin'
back and forth from Lakewood like this?"
"I'm not goin' to Lakewood, Stupid," she says. "We're goin' down to
meet Alex Hanley--of course you remember him?"
I threw in the self-starter on the old brain, but there was nothin'
doin'.
"No!" I says. "To come right out with it--I don't. I realize though
that he must be a lu-lu when we're goin' down and meet him at the
station. What did he do--lick Dempsey?"
"Idiot!" says the wife, callin' me by her favorite pet name. "He's my
cousin."
Oh, boy!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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