Produced by Tim Lindell, Martin Pettit and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive/American Libraries.) ALF'S BUTTON BY W. A. DARLINGTON [Illustration: Decoration] NEW YORK FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY PUBLISHERS _First published in America by_ FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY _in 1920_ FOREWORD It is a curious fact that since the death of the late lamented Aladdin, nothing seems to have been heard of his wonderful Lamp. Mr. Arthur Collins and other students of ancient lore have been able, after patient research, to reconstruct for us the man Aladdin in his habit as he lived and to place before our eyes a faithful picture of his times. Alike in literature and on the stage the Lamp plays an all-important part; and this makes it all the more strange that its subsequent history should have been so entirely lost. I myself incline to the theory that Aladdin allowed the secret of his talisman to die with him, and that his widow disposed of an object whose presence in her husband's collection of articles of "bigotry and virtue" she had always resented, for what it would fetch. Its tradition once broken, we cannot suppose that an old battered lamp bearing on one portion of its surface a half-effaced inscription in forgotten characters would attract much attention as an _objet d'art_. In fact, it would be without value or interest except to a scholar learned enough to interpret the inscription aforesaid--which may be rendered in our tongue "Rub Lightly." All this, however, is mere conjecture. It is based on my knowledge, accidentally gained, that a lamp of this description formed part of a job lot of "assorted curios" acquired by the Government with a view to subsequent reissue in the form of buttons for soldiers' tunics. This fact, taken in conjunction with the unusual events I am about to relate, does lend a certain color to the theory which I support; but of solid proof I can of course offer nothing. Some of Alf Higgins' adventures have previously appeared in _The Passing Show_. The Editor of that paper, by the interest he showed in Alf, has incurred the grave responsibility of encouraging me to write this book about him. CONTENTS CHAPTER PAGE FOREWORD iii I. ALF HIGGINS, RUNNER 1 II. ALF CLEANS HIS BUTTONS 13 III. THE MIRACLE OF THE PLANES 23 IV. THE MISGUIDED ZEAL OF EUSTACE 36 V. EUSTACE FETCHES BEER 49 VI. ISOBEL'S "DREAM" 62 VII. EUSTACE ORDERS A BATH 80 VIII. BLIGHTY FOR TWO 97 IX. LIEUTENANT DONALDSON BECOMES SUSPICIOUS 115 X. EUSTACE BLUNDERS AGAIN 133 XI. THE VICAR'S WIFE OUTRAGED 149