Alice in Blunderland: An Iridescent Dream — John Shaqi
Alice in Blunderland: An Iridescent DreamBangs, John Kendrick
Science
Alice in Blunderland: An Iridescent Dream
Bangs, John Kendrick
Fantasy literature; Municipal ownership -- Fiction
"Ee-liminate," whispered the March Hare.
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Hare," retorted the Hatter. "I did not mean
ee-liminate, which means to suppress, but subliminate, which means to
sublimify or make sublime. I guess I know my own language."
"Excuse me," said the March Hare meekly. "I haven't studied the M. O.
Dictionary beyond the letter Q, Mr. Mayor, and I was not aware that the
Common Council had as yet passed favourably upon subliminate, either,"
he added with some feeling.
"That is because it was not until yesterday that the Copperation
Council decided that subliminate was a constitutional word," said the
Hatter sharply. "In view of his report to me, which I wrote myself and
therefore know the provisions of, he states that subliminate is a
perfectly just and proper word involving no infringement upon the rights
of others, and in no wise impairing the value of innocent vested
interests, and is therefore legal. Therefore, I shall use it whether the
Common Council approves it or not. If they resolve that it is not a good
word, I shall veto the resolution. If you don't like it I'll send you
your resignation."
"That being the case," said the March Hare, "I withdraw my objections."
"Which," observed the Hatter triumphantly, turning to Alice, "shows you,
my dear young lady, the very great value of the Municipal Ownership idea
as applied to the Board of Aldermen. As the White Knight put it in one
of his poetical reports printed in Volume 347, of the Copperation
Council's Opinions for October, 1906, page 926,
"A City may not own its Gas,
Its Barber Shops, or Cars
It may not raise Asparagrass,
Or run Official Bars;
It may not own a big Hotel
Or keep a Public Hen,
But it will always find it well
To own its Aldermen.
"When Aldermen were owned by private interests the public interests
suffered, but in this town where the City Fathers belong to the City
they have to do what the City tells them to, or get out."
"It sounds good," was all that Alice could think of to say.
"What I was trying to tell you when the Alderman interpolated--" the
Hatter went on.
"There he goes again!" growled the March Hare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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