"But that isn't really what we go up to the house for. We go up to relieve the poor tired parents who have been working hard all day and are too weary to walk up and down the floor with the baby. We respond immediately to the call, grab up the baby and walk the floor with him until he is quiet again. Once last winter a chap with three pairs of twins six months, a year and a half, and three years old respectively, had to send for the patrol wagon. All six of 'em waked up and began to squall at once and we sent seven ossifers and a sergeant up to look after them. They had to parade around that house from 2 A. M. until seven-thirty before those babies quit yelling." Just at this moment the Dormouse was interrupted in his story by a raggedly dressed old man on a pair of crutches who begged an alms of him. "Only a dollar, sir," he asked piteously. "Only a dollar to relieve a terrible case of distress." "Certainly, Simpkins," said the Dormouse kindly. "I--well I'll be jiggered--" he added, feeling through his pockets. "I must have left my money at home. Maybe this young lady can help you out. Miss Alice, permit me to introduce you to Simpkins. He's the most successful beggar in nineteen counties." "Glad to meet you," said Alice, shaking hands with Simpkins. "You couldn't spare a dollar, could you, Miss?" whined the Beggar. "It will relieve a terrible case of distress Ma'am. "Why--yes," said Alice, suddenly remembering that she had a silver dollar in her pocket. "Here it is." And she handed it to Simpkins who thanked her profusely. "How's business?" asked the Dormouse. "Fine," said Simpkins, executing a jig. "I've collected $800 since eleven o'clock this morning." [Illustration: "MADE OFF WITH THE AGILITY OF AN ANTELOPE"] Whereupon, forgetting his crutches, he made off up the street with the agility of an antelope. Alice gazed after him in wonder. "I--I didn't suppose you had any beggars in Blunderland," said she. "He's the only one," replied the Dormouse. "He's the official Beggar of the Town. He gets $25,000 in Tenth Deferred Reorganisation Certificates a year--which, if the Certificates pay ten cents on the dollar, as we hope, will turn out to be a good salary in the end." "But why does he beg? Who gets the money?" asked Alice. "The City," said the Dormouse. "Once in a while when the Printing Plant gets clogged up with large orders of Bonds for our various enterprises, the City has to get hold of a few dollars of real money, so they send Simpkins out for it. I believe he's out to-day trying to raise the interest on the Sixteenth Mortgage Extension Bonds on the Municipal Cigarette Plant purchased year before last. It's ten months overdue and the former owners have asked the Government to smoke up." "Oh!" said Alice. "Is the Printing Plant clogged up?"